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Mini Goal - One-derland

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Week 2 Day 2 - hungry!

Thursday morning's weight - 230! (woohoo!)

Yesterday was day 2 of my first Wendie week - 26 points. That's 1 point more than I get on my regular ww week, and 5 points more than my 1st Wendie day.

I had a hard time with a lot of things yesterday. It felt like I had an axe stuck in my head and 2 hands squeezing my ovaries like lemons. Of course the world always knows when you have a day like that and so that's when you get all the crap thrown at you - stuff that you shouldn't have to deal with, rush problems, stupid people, etc... On top of that, I felt like I was STARVING most of the day yesterday. I normally eat a 6 point breakfast at about 6am and that holds me fine until 11:30 lunch. Sometimes I eat a 1 or 2 point snack before I leave work, but only if I'm hungry. Wednesday I had a 7 point breakfast at 6am and was hungry already by 9:30! I don't mean the old kind of hungry where I just wanted to eat, but the REAL kind of hungry where your stomach is growling and it feels that way all the way up into your throat. I was proud of the way that I handled it though. I have some tiny twists in my desk (with 15 = 2 points) written on the bag in big letters, lest I forget they're not a free for all. So I counted out 15 twists and ate them with 1 liter of water. Still hungry. No problem, hunger is not an emergency - wait and it should go away. 10:30 - stomach still growling for food. Normally this would be another panic point "oh no I'm starving and I shouldn't be - screw it let's just eat 'x' because I can't live like this" (I know, my inner voice is quite the little drama queen isn't it?) and the binge would begin. This time, I calmly looked at my journal and saw that I still had plenty of points, so I had a ww yogurt for 1 point. Guess what? Stomach monster finally tamed. All she needed was a little more food. Why? TOM? Wendie possibly? Who knows? Who cares? Give her the benefit of the doubt that for some reason she just needed it and move on. Oh my god, who is this person? It sure doesn't sound like me. It's so surreal.

Anyway the day went on to be a full 8 hour crapfest - I even shut the door to my office and cried for a few minutes. BUT I didn't eat - I just cried, dried my tears, and moved on. I did find that I was really hungry again by the end of the day, but it was close enough to the time I would be getting home that I just waited. It gets dark kind of early now, so we have to hurry to drive to the park in order to have enough time to walk. I threw on my walking clothes, rolled up 2 slices of low fat smoked turkey (1 point) and grabbed a bottle of water on my way out the door. The walk was really nice because it cooled off again after the toilet box drenching storm the night before. The boys were very frisky because of the nip in the air, so it was a really brisk walk. When I got back home, I really felt like I needed protein to make me feel better (TOM thing I guess) so I made about 6 oz of chicken breast tenders in the non-stick skillet with some cooking spray. I had a big romaine and tomato salad with 2 T of lite ranch, and two pieces of ww toast with a lite laughing cow wedge spread on them. It was a very satisfying meal. I finally felt full without being overfull. I was tired from the walk and the day, so after cleaning up I watched a little tv and fell asleep halfway through Cashmere Mafia. I'm so glad that I made it through this day and the day before On Plan. It shows me that I REALLY CAN DO THIS! I'm so excited!

Regarding this morning's 230, I am very excited. I'm waiting untl my next weight in on Tuesday morning to officially count it as having made my mini-goal. Not that I think it won't stick, I am just allowing my body to fluctuate naturally without me getting all wrapped up in it. My daily step on the scale is more to de-sensitise myself to it than it is to actually count what each day's weight is. I want to be used to that so that if I've been weighing 'x' for most of a week and then have a weigh in that is 'x+2' that I don't completely freak over it. If I'm used to my natual fluctuations, then I'll know if it really means anything. It's part of my gaining control.

Food journal for W2, D2 26 points allowed

2 - low fat burrito sized tortilla
4 - 2 eggs scrambled
1 - Kraft FF Single

5 - ww dinner (Thai noodles - really yummy)
1 - salad with 2T lite Italian

6 - chicken breast
1 - salad with 2T lite Ranch
1 - 2 pieces ww toast
1 - lite Laughing Cow wedge (thanks Roni for this tip)

2 - 15 tiny twist pretzels
1 - ww yogurt
1 - 2 slices of lite smoked turkey

Total Points: 26 Total Water: 64oz+
Activity: 40 minute brisk walk in park with boys

1 comment:

Elaine said...

I love reading you blog, it's like a little story every day.