the chronicles of my journey to a thinner me

My Progress
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Mini Goal - One-derland

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Just a quick update..

Weight: 227 - 13 pounds lost!



I was out of town attending a class last week. This week I'm running like crazy for some stuff for work. I haven't had time to sit down for lunch, much less to blog (or read blogs - which I have missed), so that's why you haven't heard from me.



Brief summary: I would NOT recommend the Marriott Troy for anyone trying to count points. It's a GREAT hotel for everything else - really nice gym and rooms - but the restaurant situation is a problem. The hotel restaurant is Don Shula's Steak House. Apparently it is famous for serving enormous portions at huge prices while making sure to not accidently get something healthy on your plate. They would not make me a plain chicken breast. The lady said that I could order the 16 ounce (yes 16!) chicken breast and I could get a veggie with that. The veggie first of all was creamed spinach, mashed potatoes, baked potato, or something else fatty can't remember. WTF was I going to do with a $35 one pound chicken breast? Anyway, I did the best I could. I didn't have a car there because it was icy and snowing, so I only got out when I went with someone else. I did work out 5 times in 5 days. Not too bad.



I wrote down all my food and kept my points the whole time, but I don't know how accurate they were. A lot of it was guessing. I'm not going to post any past menus because I don't feel like finding them all and typing them up. I will admit to going over point twice, but I really believe it was within the 35 point flex point range. I just have never used flex points, so I still felt guilty about it. Anyway, I came from that trip with no gain, no loss. All things considered, I'm happy with that. I've lost another 3 pounds since then and although I can't help but pine over the 1 or 2 pounds I could've lost that week in Detroit, I am pleased with a total loss of 13 pounds with relatively little effort on my part.



I don't know how much posting I will do this week. I will try. I just wanted to check in and report my current weight before I was too long gone.



I'm not even sure what week I'm on. I'll have to look at my postings to see. Hopefully I'll get back on track with the posting thing very soon.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Holding steady...

Weight: 230

Yesterday was very busy, but I did really good. I am trying to increase the amount of fruits and veggies I eat, and also start cooking more of my own food now that I am adjusted to a healthier portion size. We bought some 8 inch plates which I highly recommend. The bigger the plate, the more food you tend to want to put on it.

Oh - some other good news. I got an email from Continental yesterday and I have been upgraded to First Class for my 2 1/2 hour flight to Detroit on Sunday. Woohoo! I did a HUGE amount of flying last year, so I got bumped up from Silver Elite to Gold. Since then I have been upgraded on all of my 3 flights this year. This will be the 4th time I've flown 1st class, but the other 3 times the flights were only 45 minutes. So this will be my first time where they actually serve food. I noticed that my original booking said 'SNACK' and now my new one says 'MEAL'. So I guess only the first class section gets actual food? Don't know. Anyway, my friend tells me that it is normally a choice of a salad with either grilled shrimp or chicken and maybe a soup. I hope that's what it is. That will be easy on the points. I'm even going to look into points for a few different alcoholic beverages since I will have the points and don't have to drive. Depending on what the food is, I can probably still swing 2 drinks of some sort. Silly, but I'm really excited.

Anyway, here is my food journal for yesterday...

Week 3, Day 3 Points allowed: 28

Breakfast:
1 - 2 WW toast
2 - 2 Kraft FF singles
4 - 2 scrambled eggs

Lunch:
6 - WW dinner
1 - small orange
1 - WW yogurt

Dinner:
4 - chicken strips
3 - small white corn tortillas
1 - 2T FF Ranch
0 - salad

Snacks:
2 - 15 tiny twist pretzels
4 - yogurt parfait (WW yogurt, 1/2 cup canteloupe, 12 lite vanilla wafers crumbs)

Total Points: 29 (I realized that I lost count b/c I forgot to write down my dressing last night)
Water: 64+oz
Activity: 45 minute brisk walk in park - very hilly

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Note to self...

Reminder:

  • Take my 32 oz cup with me to Detroit next week so I can sip water during class (hope I get lots of pee breaks!).
  • Take enough workout clothes for 6 days.
  • Take some low and mid point non-refrigerated foods to avoid situations where there are no good choices.
  • Remember Roni's mantra "Hunger is not an emergency." I won't die if I have to wait for a better choice.
  • Rember my mantra "There is NOTHING more satisfying than being in CONTROL."

I WILL STAY ON PLAN ON THIS TRIP!

Week 3, Day 2 Guess the 230 is gonna stick!

Weight this morning: 230 again. Guess it's going to stick. If I have that a few more days, I will mark that off of my mini goal list.

Things still going well. Work has been really busy. Oh yeah, they brought in breakfast tacos yesterday and came and handed me one. Again, my first reaction was to decline (I'm on a diet right?). Then I thought about it. It was about 9:00 AM and I was a little hungry and I had a low point lunch and a lot of points to use up. So I looked it up and found it was 5 points. So I took it and enjoyed every bite. Later when there were still some in the bag in the kitchen, I had no urge to grab another one and scarf it down like I would have in the past. Eating the taco took the power away from the other ones. I think I'm getting this!

Here's my menu from yesterday:

Breakfast:
4 - 2 eggs scrambles
1 - 1 lite Laughing Cow cheese wedge
1 - 2 WW toast

Lunch:
5 - WW dinner
0 - green beans

Dinner:
6 - chicken strips
0 - salad
1 - 2 T ff Ranch
2 - low fat burrito tortilla

Snacks:
5 - small potato and egg taco
1 - WW yogurt
2 - 1 cup sugarfree/fat free ice cream

Total: 28 points
Water: 64 oz usually I go over by more - was really busy, but I'll do better today
Activity: 30+ minute brisk walk in park while it was getting really dark!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

28 points is a lot of food

Weight: 230 (Where was that yesterday during my 'official' weigh in!)

This morning I'm back down to 230. That's what was so frustrating about yesterday. I KNOW that I really weighed 230 yesterday, but I'm only logging my weight on Tuesday mornings. Oh well. As long as I start going down from there, who cares really?

Monday was my first day on the 28 points that I just found out I should be eating based on my current weight. I never would have thought that I would say 28 points is a lot of food, but I ate, I snacked, and I still ended up shoving down 2 Kashi oatmeal & chocolate cookies at 9PM just to make the 28 points. I was too full to try and eat 4 points worth of fruit. I'm going to have to plan better. I spend my points rather frugally - trying to get the most for the least, so having 28 it's hard to eat that much. It feels like all I'm doing is eating. I guess I need to start cooking my lunch and having a good sized chicken breast or something. Anyway, here's my journal for Monday.

Week 3, Day 1 Points Allowed: 28

Breakfast:
1 - 2 slices of WW bread
1 - lite Laughing Cow wedge
4 - 2 eggs scrambled in ff cooking spray

Lunch:
4 - Healthy Choice chicken w/roasted potatoes, veggies, AND cherry crisp
1 - salad with 2 T lite Ranch dressing

Dinner:
5 - chicken tenders cooked in ff cooking spray
3 - green beans with potatoes
2- low fat burrito tortilla
0 - lettuce

Snacks:
1 - WW yogurt
1 - banana
1 - WW snack cake
4 - 2 Kashi oatmeal & chocolate chip chewy cookies

Total points: 28
Water: 64+ oz
Activity: Brisk walk in park, about 30-40 minutes

See - isn't that just a ton of food? Fat girl in my head kept screaming at me that I shouldn't be eating all that because I'll gain. Funny how she used to always tell me to eat, eat, eat. Or not to bother because there's no way I could possibly hang in long enough to lose 100 pounds. Now I think I've got her running (waddling) scared because she's changed her tactics. Instead of trying to make me eat high point foods, she's trying to get me to cut my points down to about 20 to 'make sure I lose, and make it happen faster because we can't wait all year to lose this weight'. I guess she's resorting to that because WW takes all the power away from her old tactic by not making you deprive yourself. No food is taboo. First of all, there are healthier alternatives readily available if you want. But, if what you want is something from taco bell, cake, a hamburger, etc... that's perfectly ok. You just have to account for it. I'm sure there will come a day when I'm dying for taco bell. When that day comes, I'll go to the Taco Bell nutrition information and calculate the points for the things I want. As long as I stay at 28 points, I can have it. That's what makes this work so well for me. The power has been taken away from all of those things because they're no longer 'forbidden'.

Feeling more confident every day. Onward!

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Week 2 Official Results

Official Weigh In for Week 2 - 232 pounds

That's kind of a bummer because I've been fluctuating between 229 and 230 the last few days, but this morning when I'm doing my 'official' weigh in, it has to be 232. Bummer.

I'm not too upset. I don't like that it makes me look like I only lost a pound, because I'm pretty sure I lost 3, maybe 4. This is why I'm glad I weigh every day. If I didn't, I'd probably be really depressed thinking "what's the point?". Because I know that I have STRICTLY stuck to plan, and recorded every single bite of food, I KNOW that I did not gain 2 to 3 pounds yesterday.

I'm thinking it may be because I got home late and ate salty food for dinner at 9PM. Also, I drank a diet cherry RC this morning before weighing. Normally I weigh immediately after the morning tinkle. Maybe that's it. Oh well, it will just look better for next week. I know that I am losing weight.

Anyhoo, I decided not to do Wendie Plan for week 3. I'm going to be traveling for work from Sunday through next Friday, so I don't need any added hassle of trying to remember how many points I have. Also, it may be hard to find a variety of choices since I won't have a car. I may have to find one or two things that work and have them every day. Anyway, it just seems like it would be added things to worry about that I don't need.

Also, I discovered today that I have been eating too few points. Apparently I had a senior moment when calculating them before and came up with 25 per day when it should be 28. I will admit to struggling over whether or not to change my points because the fat girl voice in my head started all this babble about how I will gain weight if I do that, and while I'm at it, wouldn't I lose faster if I did something like 20 points? I told her to shut up and go away. Me and skinny girl don't need her 'advice' - it's what got us in this mess to begin with. Anyway, I redid my spreadsheet where I track my meals to show the new 28 points per day. So what if she was right and I gain weight? Well, I guess that's a risk I have to take. I refuse to look at this as a short term solution. This is a change in my life habits that I am trying to make. There's not a day when I will magically 'be finished'. This is a journey. I have every confidence that as long as I do what I have committed to do, everything will work itself out. Plus, I have read that eating too few points messes up your metabolism and sets you up to have to live off of really small amounts of food to not gain weight during maintenance. Who wants that? Not me! Better to get that sorted early on.

So I begin Week 3 with a really good feeling of good things to come. Plus, I'll take my one pound loss. That's one pound closer to goal, and 8 pounds lighter than I was and that's all good.

Onward!

Week 2, Day 7

Weight 230, Points Allowance 25

Stayed up way too late on Sunday night, so Monday was kind of a blah day - plus it rained all afternoon. Hubby and I couldn't go walking because of the rain and lightning, so we went shopping instead. We did spend a couple of hours walking around so that's better than nothing I guess. Also, we found some new low point goodies to try and that's always good.

Breakfast:
3 - 1T peanut butter on 2 slices of WW bread
3 - WW yogurt with 1 cup of Kashi Go Lean cereal

Lunch:
5 - WW dinner
1 - Salad with 2 T lite Ranch
1 - WW yogurt

Dinner:
6 - can of reduced fat ravioli
3 - salad with 2 T Ranch

Snacks:1 - apple
2 - 1 cup sugar free/fat free ice cream

Total Points: 25
Water: 64+ oz
Activity: strolling while shopping


Last day of Wendie Plan.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Wendie O'Weekend

Weight: 230

Today is the last day of my 2nd week, and the last day of my first week of Wendie Plan. It hasn't been hard to bounce back and forth with the points - except it's more trouble to remember how many you are supposed to have than if you do the regular plan of course. The low days didn't seem any harder than the higher ones. The hardest thing, strangely enough was to eat 36 points on Friday. I haven't decided if I'm doing Wendie for Week 3 or not, if I do, I will try to add more fruit that day to eat up some of the points. I don't mark my 'official' weight for the week until tomorrow morning, so I'm not sure how I did. I'm down 3 to 4 pounds I think because I've been bouncing between 230 and 229. I guess I'll make up my mind tonight or tomorrow morning about which plan to use for next week. Anyway, without further adieu... the weekend update...

Friday - Week 2, Day 4 36 whopping points allowed

Breakfast:
4 - 2 regular English muffins
4 - 2 eggs scrambled in cooking spray
3 - 1T butter (trying to make a dent in the points without adding volume)

Lunch: (proud of my lunch takeout choice!)
4 - 1 cup steamed white rice (funny - this was way too much rice, this must be working)
6 - 6 oz steamed chicken
0 - 1 cup broccoli

Dinner:
10 - 10 oz lean steak (starving for red meat after none for a week and a half)
0 - salad
1 - 2T lite Ranch dressing

Snacks:
2 - 15 tiny twists pretzels
1 - ww yogurt
1 - ww chocolate cake

Total: 36 filling points, 64+ oz water
Activity - 40 minute brisk walk in the park


Saturday, Week 2, Day 5 Only 20 points allowed

Breakfast:
2 - English muffin
1 - lite Laughing Cow wedge
1 - 1/2 cup Go Lean
1 - ww yogurt

Lunch:
5 - charro beans
0 - salad w/ff Italian

Dinner:
2 - English muffin
1 - lite Laughing Cow wedge
1 - banana

Snacks:
2 - Kashi snack bar
4 - Bud Lights

Total: 20 points, 64+ oz water
Activity - strolling convention center and horse auction


Saturday was a lot of fun. We went to a show at the convention center and walked around for a few hours. After that, we took a long drive in the country, did some shopping, and stopped in 2 different bars for a beer. After dinner and a rest, we went to a horse and tack auction which lasted until about midnight. That was cool - got to pet a lot of nice horses. We were up at 5am and in bed at 1:00am. Haven't done that for a whille. Exhausting, but enjoyable. Woke up weighing 230. 10lbs seems to be sticking!


Sunday, Week 2, Day 6 27 points allowed

Breakfast:
2 - English muffin
2 - 1T peanut butter
1 - banana

Lunch:
2 - lite hotdogs
1 - ww bread
1 - Kraft FF single


Dinner:
9 - Quiznos sandwich, roast beef, wheat bread, lettuce

1 - Beck's Light beer (64 cal! only 1 point!)
1 - apple

Snacks:
1 - ww yogurt

2 - 1 cup Kashi Go Lean
4 - oatmeal cookies

Total: 27 points, 64+ oz water

Activity - brisk walk in woods 45 minutes

Sunday was fun. Woke up weighing 229 (woo hoo!). Walked in the cool morning air. Went to Lake Jackson for the Ron Paul rally - we got our picture taken with him hugging us! Then drove on down to Surfside looking for a place to rent for vacation. Discovered Beck's Light beer is only 64 calories which makes it the only 1 point beer I know of. Tastes really good too. Not the least bit weak. Stayed up much too late last night watching 2 episodes of Eastenders. Busy weekend.

Friday, February 8, 2008

Big Wendie Day...

Today is Day 4 of Week 2.
Weight: 232

Regarding the 232, this is why I think people should not freak out over a fluctuation. Yesterday was my 21 point Wendie day. That's 5 below my regular, and I walked for 40 minutes. So you KNOW I did not really gain 2 pounds. The day to day weighing I'm doing is to teach myself this so that I can make peace with the scale monster. I don't count any weight until Tuesday mornings.

Anyway I felt sooooo much better yesterday. It's amazing what you can accomplish when it doesn't feel like you have a meat cleaver stuck in your head and someone trying to pulverize your ovaries. :)

I was allowed 21 points. Here's my journal:

Breakfast:
3 - 2 Kashi multigrain waffles
1 - 1/4 cup sugarfree syrup
1 - 1 t. butter

Lunch:
5 - ww dinner
0 - salad
1 - Lite Italian

Dinner:
4 - fat free hotdogs (I know, but I was hungry and tired)
2 - bread
2 - Kraft FF singles

Snack:
1 - lite English muffin
1 - lite Laughing Cow wedge

Points: 22 (just realized today that I had left off my salad dressing from lunch - so I'm 1 pt over)
Total Water: 64oz+
Activity: 40 minute brisk walk in park with boys


So today was my high point Wendie day - 36 points! Wow that's been weird because it's still way less food than I might have eaten a month ago, but I'm so full. I'm going to have to figure out a better way to do this next week. I don't want to stretch my stomach out. I think I'm going to add several fruits to my menu next time to add up points without volume. I did venture out today to a Chinese restaurant. You would be so proud. I ordered steamed chicken with broccoli and white rice. I figured the chicken at roughly 6 oz. The broccoli was about a cup. I got it take out, so when I went to get the rice out I was trying to figure out how much was a cup - knowing the little container was probably more. So what I did was to get a 12oz coffee cup and put the rice in. It all fit, so it must have been 12 oz. So I dumped it back out and divided into 3 4oz piles and then threw one of them away. I should have only had one of the piles, because I'm now apparently used to eating only 1/2 cup of rice. I NEVER would have believed that a month ago. Anyway I really should have stopped eating before I was done because it really was too much food. Next time I'll know to eat only 4 oz of rice if I'm eating that much broccoli and chicken. Anyway, I'm on my way home now. Still got 11 points to eat tonight after walking. I probably won't post again until Monday morning. Still haven't told hubby about this site yet.

Have a great weekend - on plan!

Thursday, February 7, 2008

NSV (non-scale victory) News

NSV news:

1. I put on a shirt that I wore about 3 weeks ago yesterday. 3 weeks ago I can remember that I was uncomfortable all day because it was clinging to my fat - so I kept tugging at the shirt. Well, yesterday I put it over my head and it just fell onto me. I had a lot of room left in the shirt! Very exciting.

2. Walking out of the grocery store last night, I noticed that I felt light. Yes ME, LIGHT. I can remember, very recently, walking and feeling like I was carrying 2 50lb feed bags on my shoulders. In a way, I was because I have 100 pounds to lose. I still have 90 pounds to lose, but I FEEL lighter. When I was walking through the parking lot I actually had a ‘spring in my step’. Way cool.


3. The other morning when I was yawning and stretching after getting out of bed, I put my hands on my waist and that whole section of my body felt different. It felt like part of me was missing! Very strange sensation - but one I could get used to. I really need to do the measurement thing this week. I wish I had before I started.

Week 2 Day 2 - hungry!

Thursday morning's weight - 230! (woohoo!)

Yesterday was day 2 of my first Wendie week - 26 points. That's 1 point more than I get on my regular ww week, and 5 points more than my 1st Wendie day.

I had a hard time with a lot of things yesterday. It felt like I had an axe stuck in my head and 2 hands squeezing my ovaries like lemons. Of course the world always knows when you have a day like that and so that's when you get all the crap thrown at you - stuff that you shouldn't have to deal with, rush problems, stupid people, etc... On top of that, I felt like I was STARVING most of the day yesterday. I normally eat a 6 point breakfast at about 6am and that holds me fine until 11:30 lunch. Sometimes I eat a 1 or 2 point snack before I leave work, but only if I'm hungry. Wednesday I had a 7 point breakfast at 6am and was hungry already by 9:30! I don't mean the old kind of hungry where I just wanted to eat, but the REAL kind of hungry where your stomach is growling and it feels that way all the way up into your throat. I was proud of the way that I handled it though. I have some tiny twists in my desk (with 15 = 2 points) written on the bag in big letters, lest I forget they're not a free for all. So I counted out 15 twists and ate them with 1 liter of water. Still hungry. No problem, hunger is not an emergency - wait and it should go away. 10:30 - stomach still growling for food. Normally this would be another panic point "oh no I'm starving and I shouldn't be - screw it let's just eat 'x' because I can't live like this" (I know, my inner voice is quite the little drama queen isn't it?) and the binge would begin. This time, I calmly looked at my journal and saw that I still had plenty of points, so I had a ww yogurt for 1 point. Guess what? Stomach monster finally tamed. All she needed was a little more food. Why? TOM? Wendie possibly? Who knows? Who cares? Give her the benefit of the doubt that for some reason she just needed it and move on. Oh my god, who is this person? It sure doesn't sound like me. It's so surreal.

Anyway the day went on to be a full 8 hour crapfest - I even shut the door to my office and cried for a few minutes. BUT I didn't eat - I just cried, dried my tears, and moved on. I did find that I was really hungry again by the end of the day, but it was close enough to the time I would be getting home that I just waited. It gets dark kind of early now, so we have to hurry to drive to the park in order to have enough time to walk. I threw on my walking clothes, rolled up 2 slices of low fat smoked turkey (1 point) and grabbed a bottle of water on my way out the door. The walk was really nice because it cooled off again after the toilet box drenching storm the night before. The boys were very frisky because of the nip in the air, so it was a really brisk walk. When I got back home, I really felt like I needed protein to make me feel better (TOM thing I guess) so I made about 6 oz of chicken breast tenders in the non-stick skillet with some cooking spray. I had a big romaine and tomato salad with 2 T of lite ranch, and two pieces of ww toast with a lite laughing cow wedge spread on them. It was a very satisfying meal. I finally felt full without being overfull. I was tired from the walk and the day, so after cleaning up I watched a little tv and fell asleep halfway through Cashmere Mafia. I'm so glad that I made it through this day and the day before On Plan. It shows me that I REALLY CAN DO THIS! I'm so excited!

Regarding this morning's 230, I am very excited. I'm waiting untl my next weight in on Tuesday morning to officially count it as having made my mini-goal. Not that I think it won't stick, I am just allowing my body to fluctuate naturally without me getting all wrapped up in it. My daily step on the scale is more to de-sensitise myself to it than it is to actually count what each day's weight is. I want to be used to that so that if I've been weighing 'x' for most of a week and then have a weigh in that is 'x+2' that I don't completely freak over it. If I'm used to my natual fluctuations, then I'll know if it really means anything. It's part of my gaining control.

Food journal for W2, D2 26 points allowed

Breakfast
2 - low fat burrito sized tortilla
4 - 2 eggs scrambled
1 - Kraft FF Single

Lunch
5 - ww dinner (Thai noodles - really yummy)
1 - salad with 2T lite Italian

Dinner
6 - chicken breast
1 - salad with 2T lite Ranch
1 - 2 pieces ww toast
1 - lite Laughing Cow wedge (thanks Roni for this tip)

Snacks
2 - 15 tiny twist pretzels
1 - ww yogurt
1 - 2 slices of lite smoked turkey

Total Points: 26 Total Water: 64oz+
Activity: 40 minute brisk walk in park with boys

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Week 2 - Day 1 Update

Week 2, Day 1 - First Day on Wendie - Points 21

Breakfast:
2 - lite English Muffins
4 - 2T peanut butter

Lunch:
4 - ww dinner
0 - salad
.5 - 1T lite Italian

Dinner:
6 - ww dinner
3.5 - ww yogurt with 1 1/4 cup kashi

64oz+ water, 21 points 40 minute brisk walk with boys at park

This was a trying day because everything that could go wrong did. Toilet sprang a leak, got trapped in storm of century with new toilet in cardboard box in back of truck, ended up going 8 hours between lunch and dinner with no food. Got weak. Got mean. Got teary. Finally got fed. Made it through. Nice thing is this is what would have derailed me before. Oh f*ck it ! I'll just eat 'x' because I'm tired, had a bad day, etc... Anyway I was very proud to have stuck on track.

Day 2 of Wendie is 26 points. Still 233 even in full out TOM. Not too bad. That's been going well too except I'm starving. I keep chanting Roni's mantra "hunger is NOT an emergency". That seems to help actually. This is the first day I've been hungry. I think it's TOM. Anyway, no problem. I just ate a couple of 1 and 2 point snacks and I've still got 10 points for dinner. This time I'll have a quick snack before walking.

Gotta run, will let you know how Wendie day 2 went tomorrow.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Week 2 - Hello Wendie Plan

Week 2, Day 1 - Weight - 233

After much thinking and reading, I have decided to give the Wendie Plan a try for my 2nd week. Everything I have read makes me think it might be good to try this before I hit a slowdown or plateau. I had read a lot about this once before but it wasn't in relation to WW. I saw that a lot of trainers suggest caloric variance as a way to optimize weightloss. So, we will see how it goes.

So, what I did was to take the original Wendie Plan numbers and calculate the percentages she used to designate low, very low, high, etc... I then added up my week's points (25 x 7 = 175). I then calculated the same percentages for my points. Here's how it looks:

Tues 20
Wed 26
Thur 21
Fri 36
Sat 20
Sun 27
Mon 25

I considered moving them around to adjust what days get the high points, but then I thought better to leave it alone. I really did think long and hard about trying this because in the past, I have had really bad food issues - and now everything seems to be going so well. So, in my quest for honesty, I asked myself every question I could think of because I want to make sure I stay in control of my life. The little voice in the back of my head that thinks I will always fail has been pretty quiet since I started this, so I asked the questions I thought it would.

Regular WW did well for you in Week 1. What if this doesn't? Then I will go back to regular 25 points a day. This is a life change, not a crash diet. I won't die if I don't lose massive amounts of weight each week.

Ok, but what if after having high days, you can't go back to low days? I'm feeling way too in control to believe that will happen. I'm willing to take the chance and believe in myself.

Shouldn't you change that 36 point day to something more like 30? What if it makes you fat? It won't. It's the same number of points in one week - just allocated differently. It's going to be ok. I (finally) trust me.

It sounds funny, but those are the types of thoughts that have hobbled me all of my life. This time, I actually had to conjure them up just to ask these questions. That gave me an even greater feeling of power. Maybe I'm actually going to learn to shed all of that crap I've carried around in my head all of these years.

I was thinking that there is a metaphor for losing weight we've all heard 'peeling off the pounds' and that it is so close to one for getting to the truth ' peeling back the layers'. Hmmm. Pounds and layers. Maybe they're interchangable. Maybe my quest to peel back the layers will have an added benefit. Just maybe, for me anyway, the layers of fear, shame, and guilt that I have hidden under are equal to the 100 pounds I've hidden myself under. Hmmm. Sorry, I'm just trying to work this out. Trying to lose weight first and then hope I all of a sudden develop strength and self esteem as a result hasn't gotten me anywhere. Don't they say that if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got? How very true that has been for me.

I'm ready to get healthy on the inside AND out. I'm feeling better every day, so I think I may be on to something.


Breakfast:
2 - lite English Muffins
4 - 2T peanut butter

Lunch:
4 - ww dinner
0 - salad
.5 - 1T lite Italian

Points used so far - 10.5
Points remaining - 9.5

Week 1 Official Results...

Woohoo! Week 1 weight loss total is 7 pounds! And that's with TOM kicking into high gear today. I am very pleased with those results.

Last night hubby and I took the boys for a walk in the park. It was about 40 minutes at an extremely brisk pace - the boys see to that. It's walk fast or be drug around the park by a leash. Two 70+ pound dogs that are highly excited are a safe bet that you will never stroll anywhere again.

After that we had caldo soup that he made. Delicious and healthy.

I am over half way to my 1st mini-goal of 10 pounds. Hopefully I will hit that by next Tuesday morning.


Monday, February 4, 2008

Scale tales...

I've been using the regular old (crummy) scales I already have to weigh in. I would have been surprised if they were completely accurate. I knew that going in that my weight is probably anywhere from 2 to 4 pounds more than what it says on this blog. That is ok. My plan was to buy some new digital scales so that I could record the numbers in between, and hoping it would be more accurate.

Sunday at Sam's, I bought this really cool clear digital scale. When I got home, I set it next to the old one. I set 2 15 pound weights on the old one, adjusted the thingy until it said 30 pounds - only about 2 off - not too bad. I then set the weights on the new one - 30 pounds right? How about 28.4! Holy sh*t I was pissed off. The new one has no way to adjust. You just get what you get. After cussing about spending $25 on a piece of %$&* scale, I decided that it might get confusing, but I would just write everything down and try to keep it straight - adding the 1.6 pound each time. Fine. Not fine. This morning, the bleeping thing gave me 5 completely different weights within about 1 minute's time.

After I calmed down, I packed it back into its box along with it's little book of silly weight loss tips, and took it off to work with me. Today at lunch, I returned that worthless piece of junk. So I went back to my old scale, with the old inaccuracy. I'm not going to worry about it (that's a really big deal for me), I am going to continue to weigh on it until I get a good scale. I will then make the necessary adjustments to my stats and move on from there. I can't believe that. In the old days I would have been really depressed about the possibility (more like probability) of having to adjust my weights up. Maybe I really am making the right kinds of changes in my life. Maybe this really is for real. Maybe that's why I feel so confident that I will be successful this time. Maybe I'm finally growing up instead of out.

For now, I'm 232. That's 2 pounds away from my mini-goal of 10 pounds. Woohoo!

Day 7 - Week 1 comes to an end

Starting weight: 232 (8 pounds down)

Points allowed: 25

Breakfast:
2 - 2 lite english muffins
4 - 2 T peanut butter

Lunch:
6 - WW dinner
0 - salad
1 - 2 T. Lite Italian dressing
1 - apple

Snack
1 - WW yogurt

Dinner:
10 - large bowl of hubby's soup (2 tiny corn ears, 2 pingpong ball sized potatoes, 4 oz lean steak, carrots, onions).

Points consumed - 25 Water - 64oz +

I am so excited to end this week down 8 pounds. Today starts TOM, so no telling what my numbers will look like in Week 2. I started to not weigh daily during TOM, but then stopped and thought about it. Why? Because I don't want to report any gains or 0 losses. That's really stupid. Why miss out on an opportunity to really learn something about my body and how it reacts to all of life's situations? I refuse to hide. This blog is as much about being honest with myself by baring my soul to whomever might read it as it is about losing weight. I'm pretty sure the 2 are intertwined anyway. I will hide nothing. I will report my numbers. I will come to understand how my body reacts to the my actions, and those out of my control.

Wow, sorry that sounds so dramatic but this all is really a big step for me. I'm trying to grow up instead of out for a change. :)

Will update the food journal tomorrow to reflect tonight's food. I'm supposed to get out of here in about 30 minutes to go walk in woods with husband and boys. He's making low point soup, which sounds really good. I've got 10 points left so I'll even be able to have a snack before walking if I need to.

Later

Day 6 - Oh my!

Starting weight: 231 (yes, 231!)

Points allowed: 25

Breakfast:
2 - 1 egg fried without oil in non-stick skillet
2 - 2 toast
3 - 1 T. butter

Lunch:
2 - lite bread toast
1 - Kraft FF single
2 - FF hotdogs
0 - small amount of ketchup (yes, I'm weird I know)

Dinner
7 - WW dinner
0 - salad
3 - 2 T Ranch dressing

Snacks
1 - WW yogurt
1 - orange
1 - lite english muffin
1 - lite Laughing Cow wedge

Points consumed - 25 Water - 64oz +

First of all - Did you see? I woke up Sunday to 10 pounds gone. Very, very exciting even though I didn't expect it all to stick through the whole week. TOM starts Monday and I am sure this will affect my weight. Nice to see none-the-less.

Sunday was spent going to 3 different stores to buy supplies. We are now fully stocked for eating on plan for the next couple of weeks. We have a variety of 1 and 2 point foods so as not to run out of low point choices. I took Roni's advice and got the 1 point Thomas lite muffins and lite Laughing Cow wedges. OMG, that makes the most satisfying 2 point snack! I got a little freaked out at HEB (that's a local grocery store in Texas) when they didn't have our number 1 staple - WW Yogurt! Well, they did, but they only had it in 4 oz cups that were still 1 point. I am still worried that this is a change to the product since I had never seen it before and they didn't have any of the 8 oz 1 points. Why on earth would anyone want to start eating half of the yogurt for the same point 'price'? We must all unite to complain if that turns out to be the case. So, I had to go to Kroger and buy most of the yogurt they had on the shelf. I need at least 1 a day to make sure I get something that tastes like a dessert for 1 point. Also, I don't drink milk or eat cereal very often, so I need it for my milk values.

Very, very tired from all that shopping, but excited to be ready to stay on plan.

Day 5 Saturday - Still on plan...

Starting weight: 235 (not even freaked out by this - fluctuations are normal)

Points allowed: 25

Breakfast:
4 - 2 eggs fried without oil in non-stick skillet
1 - 2 lite bread toast
1 - 1t. butter

Lunch:
5 - WW dinner
0 - salad
3 - 2 T. Ranch dressing

Dinner:
6 - WW dinner
0 - salad with FF Italian
1 - WW yogurt

Points consumed - 21 Water - 64oz +
I had every intention of eating something else, but I fell asleep.

Activity - finally some to report! 45 minute brisk walk in woods with hubby and the boys

I am pleased to report that Saturday came and went with no hysterical urges to go off plan. I am still feeling relaxed and am very happy with how easy this still seems to be.

Day 4 - Friday - It's all good

Starting weight: 234 :)
Points allowed: 25

Breakfast:

6 - large bagel
1 - 1.5 t. peanut butter

Lunch:
6 - WW dinner
0 - salad, no dressing
1 - WW yogurt

Dinner:
6 - WW dinner
0 - salad with FF Italian
1 - WW yogurt

Snack:
1.5 - lite bread
1 - t. butter
1 - small apple

Points consumed - 24.5 Water - 64oz +

Pat on the back for me...

I rode with Ashlynn to Sam's at lunch. I bought bags of salad and some grape tomatoes. After that, she wanted to stop in Quiznos for some Sammies. I had never been in Quiznos before, but wanted to see what it was like, so I went in with her. I enjoyed the smell of the food and got to see what everything looks like, but I didn't get anything. Now, I know that I can eat Quiznos on WW - just have to look up points. I'm not proud of myself for not eating a particular food item, just for the fact that I stuck to what I had planned to eat - which was the food I had back at the office. If I had decided before we went to look up the points for a Sammie (which I'm fully intending on doing), and then decided to have that instead of the lunch I packed, that would also be ok. Because of my past history, I'm trying to train myself to remain calm, make choices, and follow those choices. If a choice is to go to an ice cream parlor or Taco Bell, or whatever - that's fine. The important thing to me is to be in control of my own life - for the first time in my life. The way I figure it, once I get that mastered, the rest is easy. :)

Friday, February 1, 2008

Day 3 - Woohoo!

Starting weight: 234 (possibly even 233.5 - I need to buy a digital scale)

Points allowed: 25

Breakfast:
6 pt - 1 large bagel
1 pt - 1/2 T. peanut butter

Lunch:
6 pt - grilled chicken breast
3 pt - 12 tortilla chips & salsa
0 pt - grilled veggies
0 pt - salad with FF Italian dressing

Dinner
8 pt - WW frozen dinner
0 pt - salad with FF Italian dressing
1 pt - WW yogurt

Points consumed - 25 Water - 64oz +

I was getting ready to eat my 1 point apple last night, and a thought struck me that I had made a mistake in my math. I got my journal out and sure enough, I had somehow gotten off by 1 point. I was so glad, because I didn't want to eat that apple anyway and if I do go over by a point I want it to be a choice, not an accident.

I feel fantastic. I'm only hungry right before meals, which is how it should be. So far this is working really well for me. I'm finding it very easy to adapt to my life.

Woohoo, on to the weekend!