the chronicles of my journey to a thinner me

My Progress    The webs free Diet Diary
Mini Goal - One-derland

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Another great day!

Weighing in at: 235 (holding on at 5 lbs down!)

I'm going grocery shopping tonight, so I'm not sure what I'm having tonight What I am sure of is that it will be 10 points. I'll post the details tomorrow.

I just couldn't wait to post my accomplishment today. I had it all planned that I would have a WW frozen dinner and salad for lunch after running to Sam's Club. Just before lunch, Ashlynn invited me to go eat Mexican food. <gulp> My first instinct was to decline and say I couldn't. Then I remembered that I can have anything I want. All I have to do is calculate points and decide how I want to spend them. So I said I would go, and then got my book out. It only took me a couple of minutes to decide what I was going to have and how many points. I was a little nervous, but excited to try it out. Here's what I had allowed for:

6 pts - 6oz chicken breast - grilled with no sauce or cheese
0 pts - grilled veggies
0 pts - dinner salad
0 pts - fat free Italian dressing
3 pts - 12 tortilla chips
0 pts - salsa (enough to dip 12 chips in)
0 pts - water

Total of 9 points

I am so excited because that is EXACTLY what I had! Right down to the 12 chips! I non-chalantly counted them out and put them on the little plate they gave me. When I finished my 12 chips, that was it. No more! I did make them last a long time by breaking them into tiny pieces to dip - what I've always done anyway. I wasn't even finished with them all when the food came.

Ready for the other exciting part? They don't have a plain grilled chicken breast on the menu, so I had ordered the monterrey chicken with no sauce thinking it would come plain. When they brought it out, it was covered in a layer of melted monterrey jack cheese. It's so stupid, because for a minute I felt a little panicky. What was I going to do? I mean the cheese was there, so shouldn't I just eat it because they made the mistake. It was like a sign or something right? (now you see how I got into this mess in the first place) Anyway, I couldn't decide what to do, so I started on my salad and veggies - sneaking a look at the cheese every now and then. Then I started thinking about this blog. I kept thinking how I would have to calculate more points for the cheese - which would cut into the remaining 10 for my dinner - and then I would have to report it on this blog. I realize that the beauty of WW is that I could have eaten the cheese if I wanted to and as long as I counted the points, I would still lose weight. That's not what it was really about though. I want to be in control of what I do. I want to make conscious decisions, not be a victim to the same old impulses that got me here. That's my mark of success in this journey.

Anyway, I'm off for a quickie trip to the grocery store. Hubby is getting into this and is starting to talk about points (he only has a small amount to lose - lucky devil) and how much of what he can get for how many. So I am buying a few supplies to tide us over until the shopping trip this weekend.

I think this blog was the best thing I could have done. It really does make me think about what I'm doing. Now my friend Elaine is creating one too. I'm excited!

More tomorrow...

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Day 2 - Yippee!

Starting weight: 235 (down 5 lbs!) Points allowed: 25

6 pt - 1 large bagel
1 pt - 1/2 T. peanut butter

5 pt - WW frozen dinner
0 pt - romaine lettuce
1.5 pt - 1 T. Ranch
1 pt- WW yogurt

2.5 pt - 18 tiny twist pretzels

8 pt - 2 cups of hubby's tasty beans

Total Points consumed - 25 Water consumed - 64oz +

I was so excited to find 5 nasty pounds gone this morning. My goal for the next 5 days is to make sure that it sticks.

I am so proud of myself (pats self on back) for making a menu plan and sticking to it. I even went over my 8 glasses of water. I feel fantastic. My energy is much higher and I swear I even feel lighter.

One thing that seems to be helping is that I am sticking to water with meals. I think that sweet tasting beverages make me eat more, and I don't enjoy the taste of the food as much. So, I gotta have my diet RC, or my big iced tea (with sweet 'n low) at least once a day, but I'm using them for a treat instead of to accompany my meals. I didn't even realize until this morning that I only had one diet RC. That has to be better for me.

The other thing that is helping is this blog. I have that type of personality that has to have a perfect journal. In the past, since I couldn't stay on track, I just lied to myself in my journal. Makes a heck of a lot of sense doesn't it? Anyway, one of the purposes of this blog is to keep me honest. I don't like to lie to other people. I've already told you my real weight, not my driver's license weight, and posted my actual fat picture. There's nowhere to hide now. Yesterday I posted my Day 1 entry before I left work, so I actually had not made it past lunch yet - although I had already drank all of my required water. I really think that helped keep me from straying. So I'm going to keep up that practice for a few days. Maybe Monday I'll start reporting only on the previous day. We'll see.

Anyway, I feel great. I am positive I can do this. I am so psyched!

See you tomorrow.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

My icky 'Before' pic - 240 pounds

Day 1 - The awful truth

Starting weight: 240 (yikes!) Points allowed: 25


6 pt - 1 large bagel

1 pt - 1 t. butter


5 pt - WW frozen dinner

0 pt - romaine lettuce

1.5 pt - 1 T. Ranch

1 pt- WW yogurt


4 pt - WW frozen dinner

0 pt - romaine lettuce

3 pt - 2 T. Ranch

1 pt - WW yogurt


2.5 pt - 2 Hershey nuggets

Total Points consumed - 25
Water consumed - 64oz +

A journey of a 1000 miles

They say a journey of a 1000 miles begins with a single step. It stands to reason then that a journey to lose weight begins with a single bite.

As a guy in a bar recently pointed out to me, I am large. Too large by quite a bit. (He also had issues with my eyebrows, but that's a blog for another day.) I'm not quite sure why he felt the need to tell me this - did he really think I hadn't noticed? "Oh my God! What happened? I was a size 4 when I left the house this morning!" That would be obvious if it were true because size 4 clothes on my present-sized body would make me look as if the Incredible Hulk and I shared the same stylist. After having passed through the stages of humiliation, rage, resignation, and depression, I find myself now at a stage I'm calling 'reality'.

My reality is that I AM FAT. I am too fat and I don't like anything at all about how that makes me feel - physically or mentally. This is my reality, but it doesn't have to always be. I can change that. I have decided that I am ready to take the steps necessary to change my present reality into one that I can feel good about.

I have not always been fat. There were times in my life where I was very happy with how I looked and felt. Like most people, I have had some very difficult times in my life. During what I like to refer to as 'my mini nervous breakdown' two years ago, I put on weight. A lot of it. I survived that time, but I still carry the pounds like battle scars. I am finally ready to shed them.

For this journey, I have decided to use Weight Watchers because it promotes a healthy lifestyle that will get me back in the habit of controlling my portions and making better decisions. I like the fact that instead of outlawing certain foods and drink, it teaches you how to include those things in moderation. I have also decided to use this blog to journal my food, my feelings and my progress. My goal is to be 100% honest here - to never lie in order to have a 'perfect' journal.

So today I take the first step in my journey. One day at a time. One step at a time. Here we go, left foot...