Me - 1, Hills - 0

First, my HYC Goals checkup:

• 64+ oz water 7 days 2/7
• Journal food 7 days 2/7
• Stay on plan 7 days 2/7
• 4/1 intervals 4 days 1/4
• Earn 29 APs 7/29
• Blog 4 days 2/4

Now, on to my big news....

So I told you that Monday I bumped up on my running plan from 3/1 intervals to 4/1 intervals. I did really well, but I did them at the bird sanctuary which is mostly flat. I kept thinking to myself, "yeah, but wait until I try it at the park" which is really hilly. Remember the awful time I had the first time I did the 3/1's and had to go back to doing 2/1's for another week? So I was kind of dreading the run last night at the hilly park, because I feared a repeat of that other incident where I huffed and puffed and suffered when I tried to increase my running time. Also, this is Houston. As Viv and Grumpy Chair can attest, it was hot and really humid yesterday afternoon.

Guess what? I did it! I did it good! There were only a few moments (running uphill for 4 min at a time) where I had to slow down in order to keep going. It wasn't that hard. I could not f'ing believe it. I still can't. I guess at some point I'm going to have to stop allowing those "this is going to suck" thoughts. I was out there doing it without looking like I might die any moment. AND I finished the 30 minutes way ahead (distance-wise) than I did with the 3/1's. I guess that means I must actually run faster than I walk - I walk fast, so that still surprises me. When I was a kid, I got paired with a boy to run the President's Challenge thing (that thing we did in the 60's/early 70's) and he kept complaining to the teacher that I ran too slow. I've always thought of myself as a slowpoke, so I just assumed my running would never be fast no matter how good I got. Now I am open to the possibility that I might not be that slow after all. We'll just see. That stupid little boy is probably fat and bald now. And that evil teacher who paired me up with a boy is probably long dead. I would be lying if I said I didn't snicker a little at that. ;)

So, I gotta run. I just had to tell you guys!

Love and hate... (warning, this goes on a bit)

Weight: 214

Points: 26/26
AP Earned: 6
Flex Balance: 32

I love those New Balance commercials about having a love/hate relationship. There, I admit it. :) They ring so true - not just about running, but about exercise in general. I hesitate to call what I am doing 'running' just yet. It just seems a little grandiose - like hopping over a puddle and then calling myself a long jumper or something. I am a frequent exerciser though. I have been exercising to the point (or almost to the point) of fatigue 5-7 days a week for the last 5 weeks - and a little less strenuously, but 4-6 days a week for about 2 months before that. So, while I can't really speak to 'running' I can say that I have a love/hate relationship with exercise.

It's strange. I look forward to my nightly exercise, even when I know it's really hot, it might rain, or I'm too tired. I look forward to it and get really anxious at the thought of missing it. That said, there are moments (sometimes a lot of them) while I am exercising that I absolutely loathe it. During those times, it's sheer will that carries me through it.

Take last night for example. It was Wednesday, so that means I was scheduled to run/walk in 2min/1min intervals for 30 minutes. After that, I walk as fast as I can for another 30 minutes. I knew it was going to suck about 1.5 into the first running interval. Usually I feel almost springy for at least the first 2 or 3 intervals, then it gets harder, and then strangely enough it gets easier. Well last night it sucked at the beginning, it sucked most of the way through it, and it sucked right up until the end. It even sucked during the 30 minute fast walk afterward. If I had a dollar for every time I almost quit I could've bought a pizza on the way home. I almost cried at one time I hated it so much. My DH was laughing at me because I kept saying, "I hate you! I hate you!" interspersed with some 4-letter words. Note: the "I hate you" was directed at the hills, the workout, sometimes my tired legs - not my DH. None of that is all that surprising (surely everyone who works out has moments during some workouts where they just HATE it). What IS surprising though is that I DID IT ANYWAY. ME. The girl with a problem pulled up her big girl panties, sucked it up, and KEPT ON GOING. I kept repeating to myself, "I will not quit. I will not quit." I read somewhere the other day (paraphrasing), Life is a marathon. You can run. You can walk some of the way if you need to. If you sit on the couch, it will pass you by in an instant. Kind of scary, kind of cool, but it sticks with you.

I don't know why it was so much harder to work out yesterday, but I'm glad I made it through it. It really makes me much more confident that I can get better, stronger, and faster. It just feels so good to be able to say "I did it" instead of come here with a bunch of excuses as to why I didn't. As much as I hated that workout last night, I am looking forward to the one tonight. I'm worried the weather won't cooperate, but I'm walking for 45-60 minutes tonight unless it's pouring rain or lightning.

It's so strange. My body is changing, but so is my mindset, my drive, my spirit. I am being transformed. It's strange, but also very exciting. If I had to offer a reason for this, I would have to say it's due, at least in part, to the blogger community. Seriously. Reading about your victories and struggles taught me that there is no end to what I can accomplish. I learned that it's not easy for anyone to do this, but that so many of you do it anyway. I learned that the hardest part is not to let yourself say, "it's too hard". I see beautiful women in various stages of their own personal transformations not waiting to live their lives. I see runners and triathletes with big grins on their faces as they are crossing the finish line. Some of these athletes are at goal, and some aren't just yet - but they are setting goals and accomplishing them. They're out there DOING IT NOW, not waiting for some magic number to appear before living their lives to the fullest. All of you ladies inspire me daily to live NOW. Thanks to all of you for that.

I am on a mission. I WILL NOT BE DETERRED.

See I told you...

Weight: 216

Back to 216 today. That's why I'm glad I didn't let that phantom 2 pounds freak me out. If you know you've done well, you should just have faith.

Yesterday I did great on points, so that's good. I could have done better on water. Working on that today.

We walked for 35 minutes at the park last night. It's very hilly and we walk pretty fast - 6500+ steps in 35 minutes, so it's at what they would classify a moderate pace. I can talk while we're doing it, but I definitely could not sing while I was doing it - I'm sure the forest creatures and my fellow walkers would appreciate that if they ever heard me sing! Anyway, that's 2 APs thank you very much.

Tonight is the 3rd day of my running training - my 2nd Run/Walk day see (http://www.runnersworld.com/cda/smartcoach/beginner/0,7146,s6-238-277-278-0,00.html). Wednesday - Run 1 minute, Walk 2 minutes - repeat this combo 10x. For my trouble, I will earn 3 APs.

I've not had more than 4 hours sleep the last 3 nights in a row, so I know that I will be battling my bad inner voice. I am expecting all of the excuses that helped make and keep me fat for so long. I will prevail over her! No matter what she says about lack of sleep, unfairness, fatigue, etc... I'm just going to tell her that she needs to shut up and run. I WILL NOT BE DETERRED FROM MY MISSION!!!! Take that fat inner voice! I think I'm losing it. Oh well, as long as I lose weight with it, that's ok by me. :)

Ok, gotta run.