girl with a problem

Week 50, Day 1

2008-12-16T14:19:00.007-06:00

Weight: 223 Points Target: 27

Breakfast - 3 points
2 1c Kashi Go Lean
.5 Clementine Cutie
.5 1/2c Unsweetened Almond Breeze (20 cal)

I had this with a cup of Vanilla Caramel tea with about a teaspoon of Almond Breeze & a Sweet 'n Low. Also had a pint bottle of water.

I really should have had more points than this, or at least a snack, but I was in and out of my office all morning and didn't have time.

Lunch - 8.5 points

6 Beans w/Brown Rice
1 Lite Laughing Cow cheese - stirred in gives it a real comfort food texture
1 1T Lite Ranch
0 1c Romaine leaves (forgot all my other stuff at home)
.5 1 Clementine Cutie

I also had another pint of bottled water and a Diet RC.

Nothing fancy like some of the others I've seen, but this is all made from stuff I already had in my desk and the work fridge. Not bad considering it wasn't planned and brought from home right?

I have 14.5 points left which is more than I like to leave for the end of the day. I need to get a snack before I go home I think.

I'm also having trouble with these pictures. When I add them they automatically go to the top and won't let me move them - I can skootch them down and type above them, but I can't swap their positions. So what I can't figure out is how you guys go back into a post and add pics since the last one added goes to the top. Are you editing the HTML? I tried cut and paste, but couldn't get that to work. Any help here would be greatly appreciated!

More later - I hope!

Week 50 HYC Check In

2008-12-16T12:55:00.003-06:00

Weight: 223

Healthy You Challenge Goals for Week 50:
1. Journal all my food
2. Stay on plan
3. 64+ ounces water per day
4. Earn 20 APs
5. Walk minimum of 25 minutes, 7 days
6. Run minimum of 20 minutes, 3 days
7. Minimum 50 ab crunches, 7 days
8. Eat 5 fruit/veg servings per day, 7 days

I'll be posting something longer hopefully today, but I'm trying very hard to get back on track. I think I know what my problem has been and I'll share that with you guys in that post.

I'm going to try 1 old thing - posting all my food, and 1 new thing - taking food pics. I love looking at Angie's blog and seeing all that beautiful food. It looks so wholesome. I think taking pics and posting them will also force me to eat healthier as I won't want you guys to see me eating crap will I?

I'll be in a class for work Wed-Fri this week, so I'm not sure how much I will be able to photo without being a weirdo, but I'll see what I can do.

I set goals that I should be able to attain this week, and that should net me a couple pound loss. Wish me luck!

Week 34 HYC Check In

2008-11-04T12:56:00.003-06:00

Checking in after about 2 months away...

As you may have noticed, I've been gone for a while. I'll go more into this later (tomorrow hopefully), but basically I traveled for business for most of a month during which I worked insane hours in a town where the food choices are very limited. I did ok for that month, up and down about 6 pounds.

When I got back home, the hurricanes (Gustav and Ike) resulted in 2 of my projects getting jammed up with 2 others. I just thought the hours were crazy until October! I ended up working hours like 5 am to 7:30 pm and then 6 to 8 hours on both Saturday and Sundays. Again, more bad eating and worse, no exercise. Seriously, I haven't been able to go running in well over a month. I think I went once. There were only a few days when I got home before dark, and all but 2 of them I was so tired that I just went to bed.

Anyway, long and short of it is - I've been eating poorly, not drinking enough water, and getting virtually no exercise for way too long. I've gained some weight back, but not all of it. I'm not going to weigh myself this week because I think I need to be completely positive for a while. I may not weigh next week either. I will commit to blogging my food so that you guys can keep me on track. It worked for me in the past, I know it will work this time as well. As for the exercise, I'm still working some long hours (10-12 hours a day) until Thanksgiving anyway. I think I finally can get away long enough at lunch to walk for 30 minutes - I brought my shoes today, but I couldn't get away. I am really upset about the running. I was up to almost 3 miles in August and was planning on running a 5K on Thanksgiving. I probably couldn't run 5 blocks right now. Total bummer to have lost all that fitness. Anyway, I am hoping to get my treadmill in on Saturday so keep your fingers crossed. I hate that I have to start all over, but what can I do about it?

So guys, I'm calling on you all for support. I really need it to get back on track here. Once I've made it 2 weeks without going off plan, I know that I will be steady again. Until then, I need your help.

Well, lunch is over - gotta get to a meeting. Here's my food for today:

Breakfast:

4 pts 1c Kashi Go Lean w/Kroger Lite Vanilla yogurt

Snack:

1 Banana

Lunch:

13 Brown rice pilaf w/red beans
1 Salad with 1 t. Ranch

That's 19 pts . I'm having an orange for an afternoon snack, and then I have 6 points for dinner. I'll update all that tomorrow. I'm doing 26 points and trying to not use any flex in this week 1.

I won't earn any APs today - Does exercising my right to vote count for points? lol

I have had 2 veg and 1 fruit so far. Will have 1 more with the orange later, and 2+ in a salad tonight. So I'm doing good there.

I'm behind on water, so I'm going to fill up my glass now.

Wish me luck guys! It's good to be back.

Weight Watchers Success and Props to My Peeps

2008-07-29T15:57:00.003-05:00

I've had several people ask me lately how I'm losing weight. There's always someone that when I say WW, they roll their eyes and say, "I've tried that. It didn't work."

I can relate. I did it once before in the late 80's and lost weight pretty fast for several weeks and then lost interest. So what's different this time around?

For one thing, this time I was inspired by reading the blogs of some really cool ladies that lost large amounts of weight with WW - Gettin' Shrunk, Angie All the Way, and Mousearoo to name a few. They offered me something that I desperately needed - HOPE. I read their stories (all the way back from the beginning) and looked at the pictures, and for the first time I actually could envision myself losing 100 pounds. It never even occurred to me that it was possible before. The most I was even aiming for was maybe 20 or 30 pounds because 100 just seemed like too much to hope for - until I saw the proof right there in front of me. They also made me want to blog. I knew that it would help me to be accountable and stay interested.

From there, I found other blogs. I started commenting, which led to people commenting back in return as well as new people following the comment back to me. I never imagined how much the support of my new blogging friends would come to mean to me. Just knowing that there are people that actually care enough to read what I write and to leave comments motivates me to try my hardest. The encouragement I receive is just invaluable.

From my blogger idols, I learned to set goals - and break them down into smaller, easier to achieve goals. This has helped me tremendously. Trying to lose 100 pounds is HUGE. Trying to lose 10 is something I can look in the eye.

I also learned about all kinds of new and exciting food from reading blogs. Thanks to Angie we're using Almond Breeze in place of the more expensive and (I feel) less healthy cow or soy milk. I learned about barley and quinoa, and the wonders of brown rice.

I learned that the successful WW'ers are pretty faithful with food journaling and keeping up with AP's and Flex. I learned that not eating enough food can really REALLY result in weight gain or plateau. I mean, really, I'd heard that before but I didn't believe it until the people I believed in told me their real, true stories.

I have learned so much from blogs, blogging, and the web in general. If someone were to ask me what the most important weight loss tool in my arsenal is, I'd have to say 'an internet connection'.

So thank you my friends for never failing to teach and inspire me.

Here's a list of some other helpful hints How to Make Weight Watchers Work for You.

HYC Week 30 Check In & Goals

2008-07-29T08:54:00.004-05:00

Weight: 203 Check out the new trophy in my case!

Hello all!

I am back after a long, and much needed, break. More about that in another post. Suffice it to say that I am refocused and ready to get back to work and get serious about knocking off my remaining 60 pounds.

One thing I have learned from experience is that my success is dependent upon setting achievable goals that I know will get me where I want to go. Otherwise, I'm just wandering aimlessly, getting nowhere really.

Here are my HYC Goals for Week 30:

Goal	Status
Water 64+ oz 7/7	0/7
Journal food 7/7	0/7
Stay on plan 7/7	0/7
Run 30 min per day 4/4	0/4
Earn 25 AP's 25/25	0/25
Take vitamins 7/7	0/7
5 fruits/veg 4/4	0/4
Pushup Challenge 3/3	0/3
200 Crunches 200/200	0/200

This sounds like a lot, but it should be achievable. I often find that I do better when I have more to do than when I have less to do. Is that strange?

Anyway, my real focus is to stick to these goals with the hope of hitting 199 over the next 2 weeks. I think that's realistic. I guess we'll see.

I may be posting daily achievements to keep me on track and accountable. That's helped me in the past.

Can't wait to catch up on all of your blogs.

I've been on a break...

2008-07-28T13:25:00.002-05:00

As you may have noticed (I hope anyway!), I have been away for a while.

It started when I took the week of July 4th off from work. I haven't been blogging or consistently counting/journalling points since then.

Everything is still going well (check my tickers and stats!) and I have been keeping up with the exercising - I can run 40 minutes without stopping and I can run about 2.5 miles now.

I will be getting back to counting points, journalling food, setting goals, and blogging starting with tomorrow's HYC check in.

I can't wait to catch up on what everyone is doing, I've missed you all terribly. I just needed some time away from having my entire life focused on the mechanics of weight loss. I am now ready to jump back in and tackle my remaining 60 pounds.

More tomorrow...

Week 25 HYC Check In

2008-06-24T11:35:00.003-05:00

As you may, or may not, have noticed I've been away for a few days. I don't have to tell any fellow blogger that rarely means that it's because we're just working the program so hard we didn't have time to write. I got a little off track for a few days. Not sure why, although it's TOM and I have had the emotional symptoms of that pretty bad for a few days - all antsy, hungry, and mean - really, ask DH if you don't believe me ;)

Anyway, I really didn't do anything bad or eat a bunch of junk, I just didn't do most of the things I normally do. I was fine up until Friday afternoon. Since then I didn't drink all of my water some days, didn't get my 5 fruits/veg every day, didn't journal, didn't 'officially' count points, etc... I did keep rough track in my head, just didn't feel like writing it down. I also did NOT weigh myself today as TOM has my guts feeling all heavy and swollen. After being off track for a few days, I did not need any mental crap to deal with. I am back today counting, writing, fruiting/vegging, hydrating, etc... so I have already moved on.

Things did go pretty well on the exercise front at least. On Friday I met one of my BIG personal mini goals. Are you ready........

I RAN 30 MINUTES WITHOUT STOPPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It wasn't even that hard!

I was so excited I just couldn't believe I had really done that. I remember when we first started exercising and we would huff and puff up this one really big hill. More often than not, runner-guy (that's what we call him) would run past us up the hill and then once or twice more before we'd made the big park loop. I remember saying, "That's ok. One day I will run the entire park loop, including the hills." When I said it, I only kind of believed it, but I kept saying it just the same. It was so cool to actually achieve that goal. Saturday I just walked because neither of us felt well, and I wanted to give my legs a well-deserved rest. Sunday we didn't do anything but chores. Now you know how obsessive my personality is, so you can guess what I did last night. I had told myself that I wasn't going to do the 30 again for a week, and instead go back to interval runs - upping the time. Well, last night I got to worrying that it was all some kind of fluke and that I couldn't REALLY run 30 minutes straight. So I did it again - 32 minutes actually, just for good measure - just to prove I can really do it. I am still in shock. I think I will only do the 30 once a week and do the intervals the other days. I don't want to risk injury, and I think the interval training is helping. I have actually chilled and am only running M/W/F/Sa now, and walking or doing some other exercise the other days. I think I've proven to my stupid brain that I actually do better when I don't run every day.

Not so good news on the 100 Pushup Challenge. I actually forgot to do them on Wednesday and Friday. Seriously. Is that not sad? I guess I need to write it in my journal. I was going to start over yesterday, but we moved a sectional sofa on Sunday and I hurt my left bicep. The right one is just sore - like I moved a couch - but the left feels like I actually HURT it. It hurts just to touch it. My elbow on that arm hurts also. So pushups, even girly ones, are out until it heals. I am planning to re-start that program on Monday.

So, that's it. Sorry it's so long. Hope you all had a good week.

Here are my Week 25 goals - which I promise to work a little harder this time:

Goal	Status
Water 64+ oz 7/7	0/7
Journal food 7/7	0/7
5 fruits & veg 7/7	0/7
Stay on plan 7/7	0/7
Run 30 min per day 4/4	0/4
Earn 30 AP's 30/30	0/30

HYC Check In - Week 24

2008-06-17T07:08:00.004-05:00

Weight: 207 (-3)

Well the 206 didn't stick, but I ate late again last night, so maybe it'll be back. I'll gladly take the 207 which puts me 8 pounds down from the fake weight that scale boy gave me last Wednesday, and 3 pounds down from what I'm pretty sure I really weighed which was 210. I had weighed 210 every day that week except WI day - and now that it's a week later and I'm 207 I'm even more convinced that I really weighed 210 because it's hard to believe I lost 8 pounds. Anyway 3 pounds sounds good and I'll take it.

I did good on my HYC goals for Week 23. Here's the final status report:

Goal	Status
Water 64+ oz 7/7	7/7
Journal food 7/7	7/7
5 fruits & veg 7/7	6/7
Stay on plan 7/7	7/7
Run 30 min per day 4/4	6/4
Earn 30 AP's 30/30	36/30

I actually hit every goal except for the 5 fruits/veg. I had one day where I was short by 3. But 6 out of 7 days for me is still most excellent.

So I am awarding myself the following:

Not too bad huh? Looking forward to checking in on all of you.

100 Pushup Challenge - Week 1, Day 1

2008-06-16T16:19:00.003-05:00

Sad really. Honestly, I don't know how I get through life with so little upper body strength. It's downright embarrassing.

That said, here's my

Week 1, Day 1 100 Pushup Challenge Report:

Level 1: 2 DONE
Level 2: 2 DONE
Level 3: 2 DONE
Level 4: 2 DONE
Level 5: 5 DONE

What's so sad is that not even one of those was a real 'true form' pushup - even of the girly variety. As I remember telling someone back when I actually could do pushups years ago, "You can't do a pushup without trying to do a pushup." In other words, the only way that you can develop the muscles that you need to do a pushup is to do the closest thing to a pushup that you can. So, that's what I did. I really did try to do a good form girl push up, but I fell to the ground and could NOT lift back up. So what I did was to just go as low as I could without going so far down I fell. It was a good work out. The muscles in front of my armpits are still twitching.

So what I'm going to have to do is to go through the program doing bad girl pushups until I can do a good one. Then I'll start over with that until I can do a true pushup, then I'll start over with that. After all, the goal is not to be 'finished' in 6 weeks, but rather to achieve 100 real pushups without stopping. It's just going to take me a while to get there, but I WILL NOT GIVE UP!!!

Onward and upward - or downward maybe since it's pushups.

Hope you all did better than I did. :)

Weekend update...

2008-06-16T11:40:00.002-05:00

Well, I've done pretty well this week. Scale boy seems to actually be reflecting that too. He's been giving me progressively smaller numbers over the last few days. This morning, he actually said 206! I don't know if that will stick or not, but I sure hope it does. That would put me only 7 pounds away from One-derland - where I so long to take up permanent residence.

I actually decided to take Saturday off from exercising. I decided early in the day, so I didn't feel like I just lazed out - it was a decision that I actively made. I know I sound a little obsessive - because I am - about the exercise thing. It's just that I'm so determined not to lose any ground on the progress I've made, or risk slipping into a non-exercising slump. So, decision made, I enjoyed giving my shrinking body a well-deserved rest.

I almost ended up missing running last night - that had miss obsessive freaked out let me tell you - because DH kept f*cking around and it got late. Then he got a phone call that he really did have to take, and that took about 40 minutes. It was 8pm then and he didn't want to go any more. I was going to take Turnip (my agressive little pride 'n joy) with me and go alone, but DH then decided he didn't want me going there alone so he came with and sat on the tailgate making sure no one got me while I was running. Since I took Saturday off, I was determined to do my 3 10/1's. My legs were not so sure. It was like running through molasses. 3 minutes into the 2nd 10 I was already making deals with myself about only running for 20 minutes, or maybe at least splitting it up into 5's or 6's. When it actually came time to the end of the 2nd 10, my obsessive voice overpowered my old fat voice and said, "Are you kidding me? You're not going backwards to running 20 minutes. Just for that, you'll do 35. Do you have anything to say about that, cause we can keep adding minutes if that's what you want?" So, fat-voice shut up and my legs somehow kept running for a 3rd 10 minutes. After 1 minute walking, I did another 5 minutes just to show me who was boss. Also, I had it in my head that I needed to get 6 APs...

I have done pretty well on the HYC challenge except that was one short of getting my 5 fruits/vegs in yesterday. Poop! Other than that, I've done well.

64+ oz water - CHECK
journal food - CHECK
5 fruits/veg - 4/5 days
stay on plan - CHECK
Run 30 min 4/7 days - CHECK (5/7 days so far)
Earn 30 APs - CHECK

Also today I am starting my 100 pushup challenge. I'll be starting with girl pushups because I can't do even 1 of the other kind. I'm ashamed to say that I can only do a couple of girl ones. I'm getting ready to run to the grocery at lunch to pick up some lunch stuff for the week. When I return I'll shut the door and get started on them. Hope no one walks in to see me on the floor in my skirt doing girly pushups and looking (I'm sure) like I'm gonna die. I'll let you know how it goes. I'm so exicted to see so many familiar names on the challenge list. This is going to be great!

Gotta go now - wish me luck on staying at 206 or lower for WI tomorrow!

Crunches challenge

2008-06-13T14:31:00.004-05:00

Kitzzy asked about a Crunches Challenge. What a great idea! I looked and could only find challenges that strived to get 1000 per week, or 10000 per year. I'm looking for something like the pushups and C5K where it's basically a training program.

I wish I knew more about this stuff, we could make up our own. I'm wondering if we couldn't use the same formula for the pushups one for the situps? I don't know how many we should be building to, or how fast. When I was in my 20's and 30's, I used to do 100 situps every morning and also before going out. Then more during step class.

So the question is, what is the crunch equivalent of 100 pushups or a 5K? What number is hard enough to take 6-8 weeks to get there, but is reasonable for a person starting out to strive for? 200, 250? Is that enough?

Does anyone have any ideas for this? Does one of you have/know a trainer that you could ask what a reasonable goal is?

I'd love to do this if we can figure out a plan.

So far so good...

2008-06-13T12:55:00.003-05:00

Weight: 209

OMG, I accidentally typed that as 290 the first time! What would you think of me then if I actually gained 80 pounds since yesterday. Better question, what would you think of scale boy?

Anyway, I was happy to see the 209 this morning - so happy I'm not even upset to give up a point. I'm at 25 points as of today instead of 26. Woohoo!

Started out to do an 'easy' run (I swear I don't know who I am any more) last night. I've been trying to stick to the 3 10/1's on M/W/F/Sa and do 30 min of running, but in easier increments on Tu/Th/Su. Anyway, I was planning on doing 6 5/1's, then I started thinking how if I did 6/1's I'd only have to do 5 intervals instead of 6. So I decided on 6, but when I looked at my watch, I had already run almost 7 without realizing it (again - who am I?) so then I had one minute to make a decision. I decided to do 4 7/1's and a final 2 min run. The first 7 went really easy. I was relaxed and it was no biggie. The 2nd one was a little harder, and the last one passed being fun at about the 3 min mark. All that said, I completed it and that's what matters. The workout also included about 15 min of brisk walking for a total of 45 min exercise.

Ate late again last night, but it was pretty light. DH had bar-b-qued chicken breasts before I got home, so all I had to do was nuke it and pour some salad out of a bag - et Voila! It was really good. I looked it up and had plenty of points, so I ate the delicious crispy skin and all. YUMMY!

HYC Checkup

64+oz water - CHECK
journal food - CHECK
5 fruits/veg - CHECK
stay on plan - CHECK
Run 30 min 4/7 days - 3 days so far
Earn 30 AP's - 18/30 earned so far

In other news, I found this new challenge that I'm going to start next week. It's like the couch to 10K only for pushups. At the end, you should be able to do 100 pushups without stopping. For me, this will be like having a heavy sofa on top of me to a 10K, since when I did the test I could only muster one decent push up - and decent is probably being kind. Anyway, I've always hated not having any upper body strength, and I am planning on wearing a slinky dress to the Christmas party this year. It would be nice to get more fit and have a killer back and arms for the dress. I'm slightly skeptical of this one, but then again it's only been 2 months that I went from barely being able to run 1 minute to being able to run 10 with relative ease. For any of you who want to join me in this foolishness, here's the link: http://hundredpushups.com/index.html

Have a great weekend everyone!

My scale and I are trying to work things out...

2008-06-12T09:53:00.003-05:00

Weight: 210

Ok, I know I said all those bad things about him, and it's true - he does frequently lie to me and make me feel bad, but this morning he said he was sorry and he seemed so sincere. He also told me I really do weigh 210, and also that I'm looking pretty good these days. What can I say, I'm taking him back - on a trial basis. I did tell him that if he did it again he is out and that I will replace him with a newer, sleeker, more high-tech model. I think he's going to be on his best behavior.

Sorry - feeling a little silly this morning. Must be the fasting. I had my annual exam this morning and it required that I fast and have blood drawn. So it was 9:30 AM before I got to eat breakfast and I'm used to eating between 5:30 and 7:00. I'm a little lightheaded.

As you can see from the above, my scale read 210 this morning. Curious to see how much it's off from the doctor's office scale, I put on my clothes and weighed again so that I could see how much I weigh at home in those clothes and compare it. 213 it said. Strangely, it's not far off. The doc's office scale told me 214. That's good to know. I've always been prepared to add another 2-4 pounds to what i think I weigh because most home scales read lighter than the fancy medical ones. Maybe scale-boy isn't so bad after all. Hmmm.

I changed docs last year when mine was unavailable, and I really like this one. She actually 'talked' to me about things. We talked for about 10 minutes after my exam - I've never had a doc do that. I was 20 lbs lighter this visit than last time, and she was so excited for me. She kept saying, "Way to go! Great job!" She was also really happy to hear about my 7 day a week exercising and had some really nice things to say, as well as recommending a book on nutrition called "The Omnivore's Dilemma" http://www.amazon.com/Omnivores-Dilemma-Natural-History-Meals/dp/0143038583/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1213286134&sr=1-1 which I don't really know too much about, but since I'm trying to eat more natural foods I'm going to check out. Another interesting thing, I found out today that I am shorter than I thought. The thing at the docs office said I am 5' 5", which is what I was in high school. Someone told me in the early 90's that I was 5' 7", but either I shrunk (not the way I want to shrink!) 1.5 ", or they were wrong. Anyway, that means I need to look at some calculations that I have that are partly based on height.

HYC checkup

64+oz water - CHECK
journal food - CHECK
5 fruits/veg - CHECK
Stay on plan - CHECK
Run 30 min 4/7 days - 2 days so far
Earn 30 AP's - 12 of 30 earned

Oh here's something else I'm proud of. I felt really bad when I got home yesterday. I was cranky and tired and just felt like poo in general. Also it was 95 degrees and humid. I did not feel like working out at all, especially since Wednesday is one of my regular run/walk days and I'm working on the 10 min intervals now. My husband even suggested that we take a day off. I have only missed 2 days exercise I think in about 3 months, so I just couldn't. I said that I would go, but I didn't think I was going to do my 3 10/1's. DH suggested I walk. Well, by the time I got out there, my obsessive personality had taken over and I ended up doing the 3 10/1's anyway. The first one was actually almost effortless even. The last 2 were a right b*tch, but I did them anyway. It may not have looked pretty, or been fast, but I maintained a jogging motion moving generally forward at all times just the same. It was ugly running, but it was still running. I was so proud of myself. In my old life, I was always the fat girl with all the excuses. Now my inner voice is pushing me forward instead of pushing me down. It's like the good voice and the bad voice have switched places - or the power they have shifted. Geez, reading that back I sound like a schizo or something with all the 'voices' talk. Oh well, if this is crazy, I'll take a second helping please :)

I am looking forward to getting my bloodwork results in a couple of weeks. I'll let you know if there's any improvement. In the mean time, I feel fit, well fed, and in control.

Life is good today ladies. I hope you all have wonderful days as well.

Goal Check

2008-06-11T12:08:00.003-05:00

HYC Goal Check for Tuesday:

64+ oz water - CHECK
Journal food - CHECK
Min 5 fruit/veg servings - CHECK
Stay on plan - CHECK
Run 30 min 4/7 days - 1 of 4 CHECK
Earn 30 AP's - 6 of 30 earned

I used to run only on M/W/F/Sa and walk the other days. Lately I've been running every day. I don't want to overdo, so I'm trying to run easier intervals on those old walk days. Yesterday was a walk day. I did 5 6/1 intervals + an extra 15 min walk. My legs were so tired yesterday. It was even cooler than usual after the rain, and I normally don't have tired legs until near the end. They were tired from the start yesterday. I was so glad it was an 'easy' day. There's no way I could've run 8-10 minutes. I had to fight for the 5 6/1's.

Ended up eating really late last night. I have to quit doing that. I just don't want to eat any APs I haven't earned, and it was late by the time we got back from running and my brown rice was done. I have extra for today though.

I decided to let the scale live another day. It said 212 this morning, which was a little easier on the ego. Hopefully I can stick to all of my goals for this week and I'll see a loss next Tuesday morning.

I have to go to the doctor tomorrow for my annual. I absolutely HATE that. The only good thing is that I will have bloodwork to compare to last year's. I am curious to see how much/if any difference in cholesterol and such.

Oh well, I have a ton of stuff to do at work so I gotta run. Still catching up on your blogs. Thanks for the encouraging words yesterday - you guys are the greatest.

Week 23 HYC Check In - 215

2008-06-10T16:24:00.003-05:00

215. Well crap!

I'm so mad at my scale. It had the nerve to tell me I gained 5 pounds last week. That little lying piece of s....

Anyway, I don't see how it could be true. I had that night I told you about, but I did not eat ten thousand extra calories over plan. That was Wednesday and I did pretty well with staying on plan Thursday through yesterday. Also, I ran 30 minutes a day, every day but Sunday. Yesterday I actually did 3 10/1 intervals at that hilly-ass park.

I did NOT gain 5 pounds. Did I? No, I really don't think I did. I did end up eating dinner late yesterday, and it was on the salty side (sausage - healthy turkey low fat sausage, but that's probably still salty), and I didn't do that well on water at all while I was in Dallas. They only let me out 3 times a day, and I cannot drink the amount of water I drink and make it with only 3 tinkle breaks in 9 hours. We were out of the good water at home, and I left my water cup at home on Monday. Sorry excuses I know, but it added up to me not getting all the water I should. I'm really hoping that has something to do with it.

I'm nothing if not honest though, so I did update my numbers - even my badge was exchanged for a 25 pound one (sniff sniff). Full disclosure. I have posted my Week 23 HYC goals, and I am gritting my teeth and trudging on. Even if it turns out I really did defy the laws of science and gain 5 pounds for real, I REFUSE to be knocked down. It's like yesterday, I was 3 min from completing my 3rd 10 min run and still had the biggest hill in the park to run up. It was so hot and humid and my legs were really tired. It was hard. That made me mad for some reason, so I started running faster. I ran up that hill as fast as I could. It really made me feel better.

I will do this. I may get pushed back, but I will not be pushed down. I will keep eating right, drinking my water, journaling, and running. I won't quit no matter what that *(@%ing scale says. I'm going to give it a talking to tonight, and it had better get it's sh*t together by tomorrow morning or I'm liable to take a hammer to it. Wonder how many APs that would burn?

Can't wait to read all of your blogs. I need some inspiration.

It's a tie...

2008-06-06T16:47:00.002-05:00

Hello all...

This has gotta be really quick, but I didn't want to leave without posting something.

In the battle of me v. the road, it's pretty much a draw. I had some really good moments, the road had a few as well. Brief summary:

Working out - I did awesome with that. I worked out a minimum of an hour a day, which I have never done on the road. I ran every day. One day I even ran 3 10 minute intervals + a 7 minute. Yep, me. Can ya believe it? I earned something like 34 APs I think that week.

Food - meh. I did pretty good here. I went to the grocery store the first day and bought fruit for snacks. I did pretty good with meals. I ate some stuff I wouldn't have eaten at home, but I wrote it all down and I didn't go over my Flex. I normally don't eat all my flex, but I did use almost all of them this time.

So - I was doing pretty good until the trip home on Wednesday night. I ended up having the chicken quesadillas at Friday's - it's not a full portion, so that's not terrible. What wasn't too good was that I also had a giant margarita - yes, it was in fact giant. Then I had er 'some' beers. I'll leave it at that. Then, if that wasn't bad enough, I got upgraded to first class and the guy next to me asked me if the margaritas were any good. I really had just been wondering that I told him. He asked the flight attendant. She said they were good, but they were really good if you added the little bottle of Grand Marnier. "How about I bring you a couple and you can check them out?" she said as she jumped on me and twisted my arm painfully behind my back. "Drink it! Drink it, or I'll throw you off this plane!" she screamed at me. It was so painful and I was so terrified that I did what any sane person would do and agreed to have the margarita. (Note: portions of the previous story may be less than true.) So, I have no idea how many points all that sh*t was, I don't think my journal goes up that high. Anyway, it was fun at least. I think the road won this round.

When I weighed Wednesday morning, it said 210 (no change). Meh, I guess I can live with that. Since I didn't get to work out Wednesday, I ran last night at the park instead of walking. I really wanted to see if running the 10 minute intervals on the treadmill was a fluke due to maybe the treadmill being easier than outdoors (this was my DHs opinion and it was starting to get to me), so I decided I would run until it seemed like I should stop and see how long that was. I got all the way around the park to the bottom of the big hill. I had never run anywhere near that far before. I looked at my stop watch. TWELVE minutes! Can you freaking believe that? I walked about 3 minutes - until I got up the tough part of that big hill, and then ran another 12 minutes. The first 12 was almost effortless - the 2nd, not so much. I worked pretty hard to get from 9 to 12 minutes on that last one. I still can't believe it. I think I will run either 6 or 7 minute intervals a few times as the 12 seemed a little over my head and I don't want to hurt myself.

Weighed this morning and saw 212. yuck. Oh well, it could be Wednesday night paying me back, or it could be from abusing myself with the 12 minute runs. Not sure, but I'm going to try to get my sh*t together for the rest of the week. I'd love to see 208 next Tuesday.

Well, gotta go. I can't wait to catch up on everyone's blogs - I'm so far behind from having a craptastic internet connection while I was in Dallas, and from being swamped at work.

Have a great weekend ladies....

Friday and I'm outta here...

2008-05-30T17:10:00.003-05:00

First, my HYC Goals checkup:

64+ oz water 7 days 3/7
Journal food 7 days 3/7
Stay on plan 7 days 3/7
4/1 intervals 4 days 1/4
Earn 29 APs 10/29
Blog 4 days 3/4

Just a quickie...

On my way out the door to go run my 4/1's tonight. Hope it's not too hot and humid - yeah right.

I'm traveling for work on Sunday, so I have the challenge of staying on plan while on the road. I have yet to do well at this, but I am really determined to do it this time. I will have a car and will be by myself, and lunch is NOT brought in - thank goodness. So I have no excuse for not doing well this time. I think the working out will go well as the hotel has a gym and I'm used to working out every day now. So, it's just the food. Wish me luck girls, I'm going to fight with every fiber of my being to conquer the road monster. Oooh! And I got upgraded to first class again - saweeeet! Only a 1 hour flight, but at least it's in comfy seats.

Everyone have a great weekend! I'll be back to blogging on Sunday.

Me - 1, Hills - 0

2008-05-29T09:46:00.002-05:00

First, my HYC Goals checkup:

64+ oz water 7 days 2/7
Journal food 7 days 2/7
Stay on plan 7 days 2/7
4/1 intervals 4 days 1/4
Earn 29 APs 7/29
Blog 4 days 2/4

Now, on to my big news....

So I told you that Monday I bumped up on my running plan from 3/1 intervals to 4/1 intervals. I did really well, but I did them at the bird sanctuary which is mostly flat. I kept thinking to myself, "yeah, but wait until I try it at the park" which is really hilly. Remember the awful time I had the first time I did the 3/1's and had to go back to doing 2/1's for another week? So I was kind of dreading the run last night at the hilly park, because I feared a repeat of that other incident where I huffed and puffed and suffered when I tried to increase my running time. Also, this is Houston. As Viv and Grumpy Chair can attest, it was hot and really humid yesterday afternoon.

Guess what? I did it! I did it good! There were only a few moments (running uphill for 4 min at a time) where I had to slow down in order to keep going. It wasn't that hard. I could not f'ing believe it. I still can't. I guess at some point I'm going to have to stop allowing those "this is going to suck" thoughts. I was out there doing it without looking like I might die any moment. AND I finished the 30 minutes way ahead (distance-wise) than I did with the 3/1's. I guess that means I must actually run faster than I walk - I walk fast, so that still surprises me. When I was a kid, I got paired with a boy to run the President's Challenge thing (that thing we did in the 60's/early 70's) and he kept complaining to the teacher that I ran too slow. I've always thought of myself as a slowpoke, so I just assumed my running would never be fast no matter how good I got. Now I am open to the possibility that I might not be that slow after all. We'll just see. That stupid little boy is probably fat and bald now. And that evil teacher who paired me up with a boy is probably long dead. I would be lying if I said I didn't snicker a little at that. ;)

So, I gotta run. I just had to tell you guys!

Rearrangin' the furniture...

2008-05-28T13:06:00.002-05:00

I've been moving some stuff around a bit on my blog to reflect the changes in my mindset lately.

Of note:

I created a virtual 'Trophy Case' for my fancy bling. Gotta celebrate those victories!
I added a Mini-Goals section for Fitness to be able to focus on things in manageable chunks.
I re-arranged my side bar so that my HYC goals stay first and foremost in view (gotta keep the map out if I'm gonna get to my final destination).
I moved my Fitness mini goals to be above my Weight mini goals, because (thankfully) that's how my brain seems to be working these days. I'm here to lose weight, of course, but my main priority is now my physical well-being more so than how I look. If I meet my Fitness goals, my Weight is sure to follow.
I moved my Progress chart after both of those because, while it's important to see how far I've come, I need to focus all of my energy on where I'm going. Plus, I still have the trophy case for the big picture on that front.

So, pardon the dust. Just working to improve things...

Weigh In, Tuesday May 27th

2008-05-28T08:59:00.002-05:00

I'm a day late posting due to a day off from work, but can I have a drum roll please................

Weight: 210!

Woohoo! I weighed on Sunday and saw 210 after all of those days at 214. Then on Monday, it was up to 212. It's TOM, so I didn't worry about it. I'm glad I didn't because it was back to 210 again this morning. I even got on and off the scale about 4 times to make sure.

I am so excited. If you look left, you will see I am sporting a brand new badge to celebrate my now 30 pounds gone! I think I could fly around the room right now. I don't know if I finally broke through my exercise issues, or if the water helped, or if it was eating all of my APs, or what. I'm just going to do this week exactly what I did last week and hope to keep heading down a pound or two a week.

In other news, I 'graduated' to the next level in my running program on Monday. I ran 6 intervals of 4 min run/1 min walk. It wasn't even that hard. Granted it was at the bird sanctuary which is flat, as opposed to the hilly park, so we'll see how hard it is there - but I freaking did it! I even enjoyed it. I'm doing it again tonight, so wish me well. On the foot front, my feet seem to have gone back down to normal size and my shoes are fitting normally again. So, I haven't been having any problems there. That's good news.

Anyway, I've got to go for now, but I'll be checking in on everyone during lunch. I'm jonesing for a blog fix. :)

Week 21 HYC Goals

2008-05-28T08:49:00.002-05:00

It worked so well last week, here I go again...

Water 64+ oz 7/7 days
Journal all food 7/7 days
Stay on plan 7/7 days
Run/walk 4/1 intervals 4/4 days
Blog enty days 4/4 days
Activity Points for Week 21 29 APs

I'm modifying the exercise goals because although I plan to exercise 45 min per day minimum 7/7 days, the weather may make that difficult on some days. I'm going to allow myself to 'make up' time if I need to on the weekends.

Wish me luck!

HYC Week 20 Goals - Results

2008-05-28T08:36:00.003-05:00

Just a quick post (a day late) to update my results for Week 20 HYC goals:

Goal Checkup for Week 20
Drink 64+ oz water 7/7
Journal all meals and snacks 7/7
Stay on plan 7/7
Run/walk program 3/1 intervals - 4/4
Minimum 45 minutes moderate exercise 3/4 only 20 min on Sunday DH not well - did exercise every day though
Earn minimum 29 activity points by end of day Monday May 26 - 32/29 APs earned
Minimum 4 blog entries - 4/4

So, all in all, I did pretty well. I'll spare you all of the tiny details. I ate almost all of my APs. I think I had one or two I didn't eat. I went into my Flex Points by 20 - but that's not bad considering I did go out on Saturday and drink some beer.

I think this goal thing helped me a lot this past week, so I'm going to keep at it.

Sorry I didn't get to check in yesterday, I was off work and just didn't get to get online at home. I have dial up and I just hate to do it from there. Plus DH hasn't seen my blog yet, andI want to keep it to myself a little longer. I can't wait to catch up with everyone at lunch today.

Another day down...

2008-05-23T17:14:00.004-05:00

Goal Checkup for Thursday, May 22nd

Drink 64+ oz water CHECK
Journal all meals and snacks CHECK
Stay on plan CHECK
Run/walk program 3/1 intervals - n/a not a run/walk day
Minimum 45 minutes moderate exercise CHECK
Earn minimum 29 activity points by end of day Monday May 26 - 12/26 APs earned
Minimum 4 blog entries - 3/4

Food Journal:

1 - 2 lite wheat bread
1 - WW cheese slice
4 - 2 eggs scrambled in non-fat cooking spray
1 - WW yogurt
2 - icky white bread slice (why on earth did I eat that?)
6 - beef
4 - tiny amounts of baked beans & potato salad (maybe a T each)
3 - biscotti (yummy and didn't make me feel like crap like that high point cake would've)
1 - WW cheese slice
0 - 0 point veg soup
6 - 2 English muffins with lite Laughing cow wedges
0 - big handful of grape tomatoes (realized at 9PM I'd had almost no veggies)

26 points + 3 APs = 29-29 = 0 points left

Yesterday was a regular exercise day. We got another late start, but it had cooled off some at least. We did a really brisk 50 minute walk around the hilly park and worked up a good sweat. I love that park because it really does give you a cardio workout if you walk very fast at all. We walk at a speed that's as fast as we can go without breaking into a jog.

Still having problems with shoes all of a sudden. I really think it's because they were puffy and it made the shoes not fit like they normally do. Anyway I hope that's what it is. My ankles look all fat and swollen again today. They haven't done that in months. I don't know what's wrong - no more salt than usual. Could the heat do that on its own?

Viv asked me if I'd been fitted for shoes. I haven't yet. In the beginning, I got a pair of discontued NBs on sale at Academy for 39.99. They've done me really well so far. I didn't want to spend too much money (that's been about 4-5 weeks now!) because I guess I couldn't believe I would actually be able to run, or even keep up trying. I didn't want to spend a fortune on 'one more thing I wouldn't follow through on', and to tell the truth I was too embarassed to walk into a running store and tell them I was running. I wasn't having any issues at all until Tuesday - which is the first day my feet have been puffy in so long. So, I don't think it's the shoes, I think it's my stupid feet. My gift to myself for reaching my 'run 30 minutes without stopping' goal is going to be new shoes - from a runner's store. That way, I should have developed a good wear on the NBs so they can tell how I wear on them and all.

So anyway, I'm running tonight and kind of looking forward to it. I hope it's not too hot. I'm off work until Wednesday of next week, so DH and I are planning on getting 2 workout sessions a day in. I don't think I can stand that much walking, so hopefully we'll do some cycling.

I'll try to keep up with my posting during those days, but we'll see...

To all my new American friends, have a great Memorial Day long weekend.
To my new friends in other lands, have yourself a great weekend too.

Cheers!

Rollin', rollin', rollin'...

2008-05-22T15:44:00.004-05:00

Goal Checkup for Wednesday, May 21st

Drink 64+ oz water CHECK
Journal all meals and snacks CHECK
Stay on plan CHECK
Run/walk program 3/1 intervals - CHECK
Minimum 45 minutes moderate exercise CHECK
Earn minimum 29 activity points by end of day Monday May 26 - 9/26 APs earned
Minimum 4 blog entries - 2/4

Food Journal:

4 - 2 whole grain f/f waffles with 1 t. butter
3 - 2 whole wheat lite bread with 1 lite Laughing Cow wedge and 1 oz turkey
8 - brown rice and pinto beans
1 - apple
0 - large salad w/big handful of grape tomatoes
1 - 1 T lite Ranch
3 - 5 saltines with 2 T peanut butter
3 - pre running Kashi bar
4 - 2 tiny wraps (2 - 2 for 1 pt tortillas, 1 slice WW cheese, 2 oz turkey, lettuce)
1 - apple

26 points + 6 APs = 32-28 = 2 points left

Race report (tee hee):

So yesterday was my second day to run 3/1 intervals this week. I have to tell you I was nervous. I had such a good experience on Monday, but I had the miserable one the week before, so I was so worried that after I went on and on about how great it was that I would fail at it just because I couldn't keep my big yap shut (I know, but this is how my brain works). Just to make things scarier, I got stuck at work almost 2 hours later than usual. It was really hot and humid. My feet and ankles were all swollen for some weird reason which is making my shoes not fit right, and I was starving but it was too late to eat and still run.

Now 6 months ago (if I could have run 6 months ago) all of these things would have triggered an, "Aw f*ck it! I'll just skip tonight because it's not fair that everything is so against me." So, I am proud to tell you that I did run. I ran faster than I did on Monday.

Yep. Good ol GWAP (GirlWithAProblem) hauled up her big girl panties, shut her yap, and just friggin' ran. I know! I can't believe it either. I keep asking DH, "Who is this person?"

It went great. It was easier than the run on Monday actually, even with my shoe bothering me. Here's what's really cool. The park I run in is not that big, so one loop from where we park back to the truck is just under the distance I run/walk doing the 3/1 intervals. Monday I got back to the truck and still had one 3/1 interval + the final 2 min run left so I had to double back. Yesterday I started running farther from the truck than I did on Monday, but when I got back to the truck, I had already done the last 3 minute run. I only had the 1 min walk and the 2 min run left! That means I did the same distance in 3 minutes less time - actually closer to 5 because I started the set farther along the course. DH said I was going faster, but it felt the same to me. That has to be a good sign doesn't it? After that, we walked some more for a grand total of 53 minutes including my running. I got 6 APs for all that. Woohoo!

Another good sign is that I felt better physically after the Monday and Wednesday run/walk routines than I did after the plain walking on Tuesday. I haven't had any pain or soreness at all (except where my stupid shoe rubbed), so that's a good sign that I'm getting fitter.

In other news, today was the first office cake day I missed. I told you how I normally make sure to eat cake just to prove I can - but lately I really haven't even wanted it. Well today, I went in there and looked at it, but all I could think of was how craptastic I was going to feel when I try to race walk for an hour in the heat and humidity this afternoon. I walked away. From cake. From cake with cream cheese frosting. Not because I was supposed to, but because I knew my body didn't want it and would not perform well for me later. OMFG I don't think I even know who I am any more. I think the body snatchers came and took my fat brain one night while I was sleeping and left me some poor athletic girl's brain. I just don't know any more.

Anyway, that's what's goin' on with me. What's up with you guys?

On track...

2008-05-21T08:15:00.003-05:00

Here's a progress report of my HYC goals for this week:

Tuesday, May 20th

Drink 64+ oz water CHECK
Journal all meals and snacks CHECK
Stay on plan CHECK
Run/walk program 3/1 intervals - N/A I run on M, W, F, Sat
Minimum 45 minutes moderate exercise CHECK
Earn minimum 29 activity points by end of day Monday May 26 - 3 APs earned
Minimum 4 blog entries - So far so good

Last night we went for a 45 minute brisk walk in the very hilly park. It was 95 degrees and humid, so it was pretty uncomfortable. My feet were swollen when I put on my shoes, and so they just didn't seem to fit right. My left one felt like it was trying to rub a blister. After 45 minutes, we were drenched and decided to call it a night.

I did good on water. I had my 64 ounces in before I left the office yesterday. I drank probably another 32 that evening.

Food:

1 - 2 low cal/fat/carb torts (the little ones are 2 for a point - sweet!)
4 - 2 scrambled eggs
1 - 1 oz roast turkey
2 - 10 saltines
2 - 2 lite Laughing Cow swiss cheese wedges
0 - big salad with grape tomatoes
1 - 1 T lite Ranch
5 - WW Swedish meatballs
3 - biscotti
4 - pinto beans
4 - brown rice
0 - steamed broc/carrots/cauliflower
1 - sf popsicles & a sf Monster drink
28 points

26 points + 3 APs = 29-28 = 1 point left over

Yesterday I ate way more crap than I normally eat. I didn't cook on Monday, so I didn't have anything ready for lunch. I ended up grabbing an emergency WW dinner. I didn't have any fruit in the house, so my snacks are not my usual. I need to go to the store tonight as I did find one poor apple in the crisper, but that was it. Hopefully tomorrow I will have fruit for 3 of my snacks.

Anyway, I weighed myself this morning and it said 216, which I know is not true. I did NOT gain 2 pounds doing what I did yesterday. I'm sure it had something to do with the heat and sodium and my sudden hop back onto the water drinking train. I'm choosing to ignore that number because it's not mathematically/scientifically possible.

Thanks to all of you that stopped by and left comments yesterday. It never ceases to amaze me what a wonderful group of people the blogger community is. You guys are fantabulous! On the HYC check in yesterday I found some great new blogs that I have added to my list to make sure I stop by. I love hearing what you all have to say.

Tonight is another run/walk night. I'm excited. Wish me luck!

Week 20 - Healthy You Challenge goals

2008-05-20T07:25:00.004-05:00

My goals for this new week are:

Drink 64+ oz water every day
Journal all meals and snacks every day
Stay on plan every day
Run/walk program 3/1 intervals 4 days
Minimum 45 minutes moderate exercise 3 days
Earn minimum 29 activity points by end of day Monday May 26
Minimum 4 blog entries

Not quite a 5K, but not too shabby...

2008-05-20T06:51:00.002-05:00

Weight: 214 (yes, still)

Running: woohoo!

It's the start of a new week and the scale hasn't budged, but I almost don't even care today. Why? Because I had an awesome run last night. So sticks out tongue to you Mr. Scale! I'll deal with you in the 7 days to come.

For now, let me tell you about last night. For those of you that have been following my progress, you know that I have been kind of stuck at running 10 2min run/1min walk intervals for 2 or 3 weeks (seems like forever, I can't even remember) and had barely survived my one attempt last week at moving up to 3/1's. That was the run that I huffed and puffed, felt like I was about to have a heart attack, almost puked, and seriously thought about quitting at least 4 or 5 times during the session. That was last Monday I think, and after that I went back to 2/1's for Wed, Fri, and Sun. Wednesday and Friday actually seemed a little hard on the 2/1's and I was beginning to doubt myself - but I was determined that I would continue this running program if I had to run 2/1's for the next 10 years. Sunday went really well. I did 2/1's, but I experimented with pace quite a bit since I felt really strong that day. I even did my last minute of running at the absolute fastest pace that I thought I could maintain for a whole minute. It went pretty well.

So yesterday it was 94 degrees and I was tired. I was still looking forward to running in that weird way that I seem to have now, but I hadn't yet decided if I was going to continue with 2/1's or try 3/1's again. Since the last time was such a bad experience, I was leaning toward the 2/1's. Before I left work, I decided to check in on some of my favorite bloggers. I'm so glad I did. Since one of them had not updated, I decided to check out her beginning posts to see where she had started (she just ran her first 1/2 marathon just over a year later) and I saw her posts where she was struggling with the 3/1's. She, like me, had decided the rate of increase that the running program was suggesting was just too fast for her and that she would decide on her own when to increase her intervals. Reading ahead, I saw that although she struggled in the beginning there seemed to be a point where she was increasing fairly rapidly. She mentioned something about running with someone who pushed her past her comfort point a little. So that's when I decided I would give the 3/1's another chance.

It was awesome! The first couple of intervals were not very difficult. (There are 7 3/1's and then a 2 min run) There were 2 uphill intervals that I had to fight through in a couple of places, but all in all it was challenging without being discouraging. For the first time I actually ran at a decent pace. Until then, I've only been concerned that I was always moving in a jogging motion, sometimes in place if I had to, but I was going pretty slow. Last night I picked up the pace and I think that helped. I think I found a comfort zone because I maintained that throughout the run except for maybe twice when I had to run in place a few steps on the steep hills. I even poured on the speed and ran my last minute as fast as I could. DH was shocked. He kept saying how 'impressive' that was and that I 'ran forever and just kept running'. He must have been impressed because he kept talking about how proud he was and that he never thought he'd see me run like that. I have to admit it, but I am also amazingly proud of myself. I could burst!

So regarding the weight. Meh. I could've lost a couple of pounds, but I didn't. I suspect it's partially due to the reasons I mentioned in a recent post, and partially because I have been slacking on journaling points and drinking water. So, I will take my 214 (because after all 6 months ago I never thought I'd see 214 again) and I will challenge myself to some better behavior for this new week.

In the mean time, I am giving myself a big 'Woohoo!' and a virtual high five. Thanks to all of you that have offered your support here. It means so much to me. Thanks to those of you that, through blogging your own challenges and triumphs, inspire me to go faster and farther than I ever dreamed I could. You girls rock!

Woohoo it's Friday!

2008-05-16T15:54:00.002-05:00

Quick update before I fly out the door to a much needed weekend...

Thursday night was a 55 minute walk at a very brisk pace. It's weird, that one was hard too. I was so happy that it wasn't my running night. I hope I get over whatever this is and get back to a place where it's not quite so hard to keep going. We did do 5 laps around the little loop with the biggest hill last night. The first 3 were torture, but it did get better on the last 2. I just kept repeating, "I will not quit. I will not quit." whenever my legs were burning and tired. Near the end I came up with a new mantra that, when repeated fast, matches my pace when walking. I kept repeating it in my mind to try to disassociate my mind from my body, "Faster, farther. Stronger, lighter." I kind of like that one.

On other news, I haven't gone to get my bike yet. I think I will this weekend. It's just been to hectic to try to fit in an hour of exercise and dealing with that. Plus I've been so sweaty I didn't want to gross out the salesperson if they had to get anywhere near me to adjust the bike. :)

Oh, one other thing. The other day I went to buy myself some new workout clothes because I just didn't have enough things to not have to do laundry in the middle of the week. Anyway, I went to Academy and was looking at the Nike DriFit pants (I have to wear pants b/c my legs are still to chubby to run in shorts) which were $50 bucks (ouch!). I pulled out a pair of XL because that's what I always wear, unless it's XXL, and they looked huge. You know how workout pants always look like they're way too small? Well I was actually worried these wouldn't stay up when I ran. So I looked for a L to compare. They didn't have any, so I started digging through the sale racks to see if I could find something else. I did eventually stumble across 2 pairs of Nike DriFit pants in size L - on sale for 19.98! I then found 3 of the DriFit tanks in XL (they looked small) marked down to 9.98. I decided to buy them figuring that anything that was too small would fit me later. When I got to the checkout, she started pushing all these buttons after every scan and then looked at me and said "32.15 please". Huh? Miracle of miracles, they were an additional 50% off!!!! I ended up with about $180 worth of Nike DriFit for $32.15 including sales tax. Oh happy day!

So I had worn the pants already. How excited am I to be in Large pants? I had not worn the tanks because they were really form fitting to say the least. Last night I got brave and decided, screw it. If anybody doesn't like what they see they don't have to look. (yes, that was ME that said that - who am I lately?) I decided I would just take a T-shirt in case I needed to go in a store or something on the way back. After putting on my gear, I braced myself to look in the mirror and see how bad it looked...I was freaking shocked! I squealed out loud. DH called down the hall to see if I was ok. I ran out into the living room yelling, "Look! Look! Look at me!" He dropped his jaw. "Look at you! Where did you go?" he said as he headed over for a tactile inspection of my shrunken midsection. It was such a surreal experience. I could not stop feeling my middle. I looked SO much smaller. I didn't even look that fat any more. If I sucked in as much as possible, I almost looked svelte! How freaking cool is that? So, I went proudly out to the park in my skin tight Nike tank and busted my buns for the next 55 minutes. That did boost my resolve to keep going I tell you.

So, I gotta run now. DH is waiting for me to get home. Tonight is 10 2min/1min run/walk intervals. It's unusually cool and breezy today, so I'm hoping that helps make it a good experience. I don't want a repeat of Wednesday. Either way I WILL DO IT. How can I stop now?

One more thing - Thanks so much to all of you who have stopped by to say hello and to offer support. That means so much to me. I think of that when I want to quit. I think how I want to come back here and post the good news rather than some excuses. I think how I want to run races like my blogging heroes do. Thanks again.

Everyone have a great weekend! Wish me luck running tonight and Saturday.

Love and hate... (warning, this goes on a bit)

2008-05-15T07:16:00.005-05:00

Weight: 214

Points: 26/26
AP Earned: 6
Flex Balance: 32

I love those New Balance commercials about having a love/hate relationship. There, I admit it. :) They ring so true - not just about running, but about exercise in general. I hesitate to call what I am doing 'running' just yet. It just seems a little grandiose - like hopping over a puddle and then calling myself a long jumper or something. I am a frequent exerciser though. I have been exercising to the point (or almost to the point) of fatigue 5-7 days a week for the last 5 weeks - and a little less strenuously, but 4-6 days a week for about 2 months before that. So, while I can't really speak to 'running' I can say that I have a love/hate relationship with exercise.

It's strange. I look forward to my nightly exercise, even when I know it's really hot, it might rain, or I'm too tired. I look forward to it and get really anxious at the thought of missing it. That said, there are moments (sometimes a lot of them) while I am exercising that I absolutely loathe it. During those times, it's sheer will that carries me through it.

Take last night for example. It was Wednesday, so that means I was scheduled to run/walk in 2min/1min intervals for 30 minutes. After that, I walk as fast as I can for another 30 minutes. I knew it was going to suck about 1.5 into the first running interval. Usually I feel almost springy for at least the first 2 or 3 intervals, then it gets harder, and then strangely enough it gets easier. Well last night it sucked at the beginning, it sucked most of the way through it, and it sucked right up until the end. It even sucked during the 30 minute fast walk afterward. If I had a dollar for every time I almost quit I could've bought a pizza on the way home. I almost cried at one time I hated it so much. My DH was laughing at me because I kept saying, "I hate you! I hate you!" interspersed with some 4-letter words. Note: the "I hate you" was directed at the hills, the workout, sometimes my tired legs - not my DH. None of that is all that surprising (surely everyone who works out has moments during some workouts where they just HATE it). What IS surprising though is that I DID IT ANYWAY. ME. The girl with a problem pulled up her big girl panties, sucked it up, and KEPT ON GOING. I kept repeating to myself, "I will not quit. I will not quit." I read somewhere the other day (paraphrasing), Life is a marathon. You can run. You can walk some of the way if you need to. If you sit on the couch, it will pass you by in an instant. Kind of scary, kind of cool, but it sticks with you.

I don't know why it was so much harder to work out yesterday, but I'm glad I made it through it. It really makes me much more confident that I can get better, stronger, and faster. It just feels so good to be able to say "I did it" instead of come here with a bunch of excuses as to why I didn't. As much as I hated that workout last night, I am looking forward to the one tonight. I'm worried the weather won't cooperate, but I'm walking for 45-60 minutes tonight unless it's pouring rain or lightning.

It's so strange. My body is changing, but so is my mindset, my drive, my spirit. I am being transformed. It's strange, but also very exciting. If I had to offer a reason for this, I would have to say it's due, at least in part, to the blogger community. Seriously. Reading about your victories and struggles taught me that there is no end to what I can accomplish. I learned that it's not easy for anyone to do this, but that so many of you do it anyway. I learned that the hardest part is not to let yourself say, "it's too hard". I see beautiful women in various stages of their own personal transformations not waiting to live their lives. I see runners and triathletes with big grins on their faces as they are crossing the finish line. Some of these athletes are at goal, and some aren't just yet - but they are setting goals and accomplishing them. They're out there DOING IT NOW, not waiting for some magic number to appear before living their lives to the fullest. All of you ladies inspire me daily to live NOW. Thanks to all of you for that.

I am on a mission. I WILL NOT BE DETERRED.

I'm doing it!

2008-05-13T12:47:00.003-05:00

So, I started the running program I found in Runner's World 3 1/2 weeks ago It's a little more agressive than the Couch to 10K in that you run 4 days per week instead of 3, and I believe the distance/time increases more rapidly.

Week 1 - Run 1 minute/Walk 2, 10 times

I really thought I was going to drop dead from a heart attack the first 4 days I did this. My legs burned so bad, and felt like 2 huge cement pillars. This was hard. Really hard. It was shear determination that got me through it. By Saturday it was getting better, but it was still hard enough that I couldn't imaginge bumping up the running time for the next week. I then decided that since I wasn't training for an actual scheduled race, that I needed to focus on what was really important - continuing the program. So I made the decision that I would use their program as a guide, but I would let my body be the real determination of how far/how soon.

Week 2 - Run 1 minute/Walk 2, 10 times

The program had said that this week should be run 2 min/walk 1, but I didn't think I was ready. I decided to repeat week 1 instead. I was really excited when I started running on day 1 of this week. It actually felt a lot better. I was even enjoying it. By the 3rd day, I had stopped huffing and puffing and had only my tired legs to contend with. Then near the end of my day 3 run, I experienced 2 intervals where I felt absolutely WEIGHTLESS! It was the strangest sensation. I felt amazing. I felt like I was floating. I think I got hooked. On day 4, I ran 2 minutes on my last 2 intervals to see if I was ready to progress in week 3. I did it! It wasn't even that hard.

The only thing was that the scheduled plan for the next week was to run 2/walk 1 10 times for days 1 and 2. Day 3 was to be run 3/walk 1 7 times, then walk 2 min. Day 4 was to run 4/walk 1 6 times! I was very skeptical about all of that, but I do want to make sure to push myself and not get off too easy so I decided I would see how it goes and then make up my mind from there.

Week 3

Days 1 and 2 (run 2/walk 1 x 10) went well. When day 3 came, I was scared, but determined. The first 3 min run/1 min walk interval was not that bad. By the 4th one I was convinced I was in over my head. Where I run/walk is VERY hilly (some of the hills are hard enough to walk up) and it was just too much. I was struggling so hard. For the first time since the first 2 days of Week 1, I was huffing and puffing and out of breath. My legs were killing me and I could barely make them keep moving. I wanted to quit so bad. I almost did quit, but I didn't. I had made a good decision in telling so many people what I was doing. I knew that I had people that were going to ask me how the 3 minutes went. I did not want to go back and tell them I had quit. So I decided to keep going no matter what. Then I would go back to 2 run/1 walk for the rest of Week 3. The next day, I hurt everywhere. It was the first time I had any physical pain (other than just a little stiffness) from my run/walk program. If that wasn't a sign that my body wasn't ready, I don't know what was. So completed the week in 2/1 fashion, but feeling stronger and more confident every day. On Saturday, I decided that I was going to do another 2/1 week for week 4, unless it just got too easy and then I would graduate another minute.

Week 4 - this week

Last night was day 1 of week 4. I ran my 2/1's with a very even pace, good breathing, and only mild complaints from my legs on the upsides of some of the steeper hills. As luck usually goes, it just so happened that when the last interval came up, we were at the bottom of the steepest hill. I almost detoured to avoid it, but then decided to go for it. I took a deep breath and started up the hill, trying to maintain the same breathing pattern and cadence that I was maintaining earlier. I can't believe it, but I FREAKING DID IT! Yep, that's what I'm talkin' 'bout. I was like Rocky running up those stairs. I even did the obligatory boxer's fist wave over my head at the end. Then something even stranger happened. I didn't want to stop running! (yes, me) I thought, well I can run another minute - it's down hill after all. Then I looked at my watch and I had 'accidently' run one minute 15 seconds. So, I thought "I'll just see if I can run another minute." I DID!!! I ran for 4 minutes instead of 2 during my 10th interval. I was really happy with my performance last night. I felt good during most of the run.

So, I think I'm going to still run 2/1's tomorrow. I'm thinking about throwing in two intervals of 3/1 if it feels right. Maybe the last 2. I am loving this. I am so pumped. I am really doing it. I am becoming a runner. One day soon I will run for 30 minutes straight. I have to think up a good reward for myself for that day.

Tonight I think we're buying mountain bikes. I'm thinking we will go walk for 45 minutes and then head to Academy to buy the bikes. I don't know how long they will take to put them together, or if we will have to come back for them on another day. If they get them put together before dark though, I'm going to stop back by the park and go for a ride.

Who is this creature I am becoming? I don't know, but I think I like her. :)

Long Overdue Update...

2008-05-13T12:29:00.002-05:00

Weight: 214

You may notice that's only down a couple of pounds since my last post a few weeks ago. I attribute this to a few things.

First - I had some really awesome adventures during the last few weeks in which I was reunited with some old friends, and maybe even with the old me. The slightly less awesome side of this is that I behaved a little like the old me and drank more like a 30 year old than a 44 year old who is also trying to lose weight. So, I think regardless of what else I would have done, the extra drinks and the late night drunk hungries kept me from going down the scale any.

Second - I started my running program PLUS upped the exercise on the non-running days. See, I have never really eaten my Flex Points or Activity Points. Now that I am exercising pretty hard 40-75 minutes a day, I'm finding there are days when 26 points isn't enough food. So, I've experimented a little with using Flex and APs. This could also be one of the reasons I've not lost more.

Third - I have been reading about exercise (cardio especially) and losing weight. I've read that it is not uncommon for women to not lose, or even gain, weight when they first start a cardio program. Apparently we're designed to ride out a storm, and our bodies' first reaction to greatly increased exercise is to hold onto fat long enough to make it through times of physical stress and/or decreased caloric intake and particularly when those two things are combined. The good news is that supposedly this response will subside after 3 or 4 weeks if the eating/exercise regime is continued. So, it's one of those things that are so totally NOT fair, but I guess we play the hand we're dealt. Anyway, this could also be a contributing factor to my small loss of poundage.

LAST (I swear) - I think these 3 things combined may be the 'perfect storm' of weight loss inhibition. So, all things considered, I'm happy with my small loss. Hey, as long as I'm headed in the right direction, it'll all take care of itself eventually.

How's the running going? I thought you'd never ask... I'll put that in a separate post since this one's running on too long.

Anyway - can I hear a big 'Woohoo' for a total weight loss of 26 pounds to date? I am definitely on my way!

See I told you...

2008-04-23T09:42:00.004-05:00

Weight: 216

Back to 216 today. That's why I'm glad I didn't let that phantom 2 pounds freak me out. If you know you've done well, you should just have faith.

Yesterday I did great on points, so that's good. I could have done better on water. Working on that today.

We walked for 35 minutes at the park last night. It's very hilly and we walk pretty fast - 6500+ steps in 35 minutes, so it's at what they would classify a moderate pace. I can talk while we're doing it, but I definitely could not sing while I was doing it - I'm sure the forest creatures and my fellow walkers would appreciate that if they ever heard me sing! Anyway, that's 2 APs thank you very much.

Tonight is the 3rd day of my running training - my 2nd Run/Walk day see (http://www.runnersworld.com/cda/smartcoach/beginner/0,7146,s6-238-277-278-0,00.html). Wednesday - Run 1 minute, Walk 2 minutes - repeat this combo 10x. For my trouble, I will earn 3 APs.

I've not had more than 4 hours sleep the last 3 nights in a row, so I know that I will be battling my bad inner voice. I am expecting all of the excuses that helped make and keep me fat for so long. I will prevail over her! No matter what she says about lack of sleep, unfairness, fatigue, etc... I'm just going to tell her that she needs to shut up and run. I WILL NOT BE DETERRED FROM MY MISSION!!!! Take that fat inner voice! I think I'm losing it. Oh well, as long as I lose weight with it, that's ok by me. :)

Ok, gotta run.

Weigh In

2008-04-22T14:35:00.003-05:00

Weight: 218

I debated on whether to post a weigh in today, because I know it's not accurate. If you believe the scale, two days of counting points plus 30 minutes strenuous cardio made me gain 2 pounds. The scale said 216 2 days ago. So I didn't want to update the number to show a 2 pound gain. Then I thought about it. I have no reason to be ashamed. I had a week where I gained 2 pounds traveling and being at the mercy of a catered lunch for 4 days, but I had already lost that back. I did NOT gain 2 pounds from excercising. I know that sometimes the body reacts to the shock of a new or more difficult work out. I think the muscles swell or retain fluid - my ankles and feet looked a little puffy this morning, but looked down right slim a few hours later. That number means nothing. I refuse to hide or lie. I will not give the scale that much power. I know that is a very slippery slope. I'm NOT going there.

So - according to the scale, I weight 218 today. So what? I feel thinner, healthier, and dare I say even a wee bit athletic. So take that!

Also, in a NSV, yesterday I put on one of the sweaters I wear to work all the time. It was falling off my shoulders in a really weird way. I didn't think that much of it until I put on another sweater this morning and it's all loose around my collar bone and shoulders too. I obviously lost some weight in that area. That'll work.

I'm also eating healthier for the majority of my meals. I have really cut back on meat (not really sure whether that's a big deal or not - more of an observation) and am eating brown rice with steamed veggies and a salad for lunch or dinner quite often. So all in all, I'm pleased with my progress to date. I'm sure that I will see the numbers go down for next Tuesday's weigh in. 'Til then, I'm just going to keep tracking my points (thanks Elaine for the point tracker!), making good choices, and exercising as many days a week as I can.

Something new...

2008-04-22T13:59:00.003-05:00

Well, I started something new. I'm training to become a runner. Yes, not to run a race, but to run - period. I have done a little running at times in my past (there were times in my life where I could run a mile or 2), but I have never stuck with it enough to get good at it - or where it wasn't so hard.

Yesterday I started a running program. It's similar to the 'Couch to 10K' thing that everyone is doing, only this one comes from Runners World http://www.runnersworld.com/cda/smartcoach/beginner/0,7146,s6-238-277-278-0,00.html

So last night was Week 1, Day 1. It was the perfect day not to start. I had to go and buy a stop watch and got sidetracked looking around at Academy, so we got a late start. I was tired and it was hot, there were big hills, but I SO wanted to do this, and I had my new stop watch and all... So I ACTUALLY DID IT! I even ran some of my intervals up hill. Now I'm not saying I wasn't huffing and puffing - hubby did ask for a confirmation that I was not going to have a heart attack on him - but I DID IT! All 10 intervals. I think I did pretty good. I tried to run softly to make sure not to injure myself while I'm just getting started. But I'm not in pain today. We've been walking that park quite a bit lately, and it does have some killer hills so I guess that paid off. I am so psyched!

Week 1 goes like this:

Monday - Run 1 minute, Walk 2 minutes - repeat this combo 10x

Tuesday - 30 minute easy walk

Wednesday - Run 1 minute, Walk 2 minutes - repeat this combo 10x

Thursday - 30 minute easy walk

Friday - Run 1 minute, Walk 2 minutes - repeat this combo 10x

Saturday - Run 1 minute, Walk 2 minutes - repeat this combo 10x

Sunday - REST

It's designed to get your body caught up with your cardiovascular system so that you don't overdo it early on and get hurt. By Week 8, you should be up to running 30 minutes non-stop. I am so excited.

Anyway, I figured that the Week 1 Walk/Run days are 3 Activity points (probably more actually because there is a warm up and cool down walk that last anywhere from 10 to 20 minutes. But we'll just stick with 3 for now. The Walk days will actually be more than the 1 minute that an easy 30 min walk gets you because we will be walking longer at a quicker pace and there are some pretty good hills. I would say those days will be at least 2 AP.

I'm still not sure if I will eat the APs or not. I might. But I am going to start tallying them starting today which is my regular weigh in day - day 1 of my WW week.

Much more to come. I am going to try to come up with a good format for posting this activity info, but for now I'll just do it this way.

Update...Mini Goal Met

2008-04-11T11:23:00.004-05:00

Weight: 216!

Just a quick update. Still really busy at work and traveling alot. Just got back from Dubai on Friday, and am headed to Kansas City on Sunday. So I haven't had much time to work on this blog.

A note about traveling and staying OP (On Plan). Being away from home isn't the hardest part about staying OP. For me, the plane ride is the problem. It's ok if it's a few hours, but when you fly for 2 days (like going to/from Dubai) it doesn't matter what you plan ahead, it's really, really hard to not just eat the plane food. I don't know what they do to that stuff. I think they fortify it like an MRE. If I could find a feasible solution to that problem, I think I would have it made. I'm sorry, I just can't/won't live off of meal bars for 2 days on a plane at a time. It's just too stressful and I don't like eating sweet-tasting things that often. I've got to work on finding a real solution to this problem.

Anyway, Dubai wasn't that bad. I did pretty well although there were a lot of situations where I just couldn't count the points and/or didn't have many choices. It worked out ok. I came back a pound heavier - but considering the stress of the traveling that far, and the food on the plane, I'm ok with that.

I managed to drop the extra pound, plus 1, within two days of being back, so I wonder how much of that is water weight. My feet were HUGE on the ride back. Since then, I have dropped another 2 pounds and find myself at 216 this morning. Woohoo! That's my 10% goal! I am so excited. Now I only have 17 pounds to lose to get under 200. I can't wait.

I have been feeling pretty good. I feel thin most of the time now. I have pretty good energy, especially considering that I swear I've picked up some kind of walking pneumonia or something. Staying OP has not been difficult since I've been back. I love how when I count my points, I lose weight. Yesterday I had a piece of cake and I still lost 2 pounds. I had to eat steamed veggies and salad for dinner, but that was ok. I stayed within my point limit. I really didn't want the cake as much as I want to learn how to eat cake and still lose weight, and ultimately to be able to eat cake and maintain my goal weight. Avoiding cake doesn't teach me anything. Plus, I think my starting weight of 240 proves that avoiding cake does NOT work for me. :)

Hubby is doing FANTASTIC. I am so proud of him. He's experimented with the points and different kinds of food/drink and I think he's found a way to stay happy and still lose weight. He is looking so good. I think he's lost 30-35 pounds. We have managed to get out and walk for 30-45 minutes every day this week. I really want to keep that up as ultimately I want to start running. I have a running training book that lays out a plan for safely going from a non-runner to running a race.

Everything is so exciting now. I feel like I am on track to being the person I want to be. I feel like anything is possible and my goals are all reachable now. I have a clear vision of the kind of life I want to live, what I want to do, and how to get there. Things are really coming together that way and it's really, really nice.

Today I slept in because I was feeling really bad this morning. I am just now getting in to work. So I kind of slept through breakfast. That leaves me opportunities to eat my points in a different way today, so that's kind of exciting. I kind of had lunch for breakfast. Then I just packed some snacks to hold me over until I get off work.

Breakfast:

6 - Healthy Choice Philly Cheese Steak Panini (pretty good)
0 - salad
1 - t. Ranch

Snacks packed:

1 - WW vanilla yogurt
2 - lite Laughing Cow cheese wedges
1 - 3 wasa crackers (.8 points actually!)

We got some ground turkey that I think I will make my first turkey burger from tonight. I'm going to try really hard to stop having weeks where I don't lose weight. I've picked out a dress (or type of dress more likely) that I want to wear to our company Christmas party this year. I have 71 pound until my goal weight and I would like to be there by the time I have to buy that dress in December. That gives me 8 full months. That averages out to 8.9 pounds per month. That sounds possible to me at this point. I will of course be upping the excercising as I get smaller and it gets easier and easier to actually exercise.

Anyway, gotta run now. Many, many things to accomplish today...

Another quick update...

2008-03-26T08:27:00.004-05:00

Weight: 219 - 21 Pounds Lost!!!!

Again I've been super busy with work and traveling. I'm actually heading out to Dubai for a week on Friday.

Have been on plan though. Norway was more of a challenge than I thought it would be. Drank too much beer - and they don't have anything even close to light beer there. We did really good at breakfast and lunch each day, but dinner was harder. Everything seems to come with some kind of mysterious sauce over there. It was hard to calculate points on and on top of that we were always too hungry by the time we got to dinner. We did a lot of walking up and down the extremely steep streets at least. On top of everything else, I ended up getting stuck in Frankfurt airport, having missed my connecting flight home. It's a long story that involves switched laptops, lost luggage, $400 airport hotel rooms, and other travel intrigue. Suffice it to say that there were just too many situations where I wasn't able to exactly control my food choices. I actually gained a pound while I was there, but lost it 2 days after I got back so no harm, no foul I guess.

I am now down to 26 points a day. According to the calculators, I will be at 26 until I hit 209 I think. Then I drop another point but stay there for a while. So far I'm still getting plenty to eat. Some days I have a hard time eating all my points. I have never used the 35 flex points as a practice. I wonder if I should start using them? I was reading Gotta Get Shrunk's blog and see that she has always eaten all of her flex and all of her AP's. I'm starting to worry that if I don't do the flex that I may mess with my metabolism and it could hurt me down the line. I have used over my points a few times, and counted that as flex, but I've never planned to use it. I always figured that would make up for any time where I underestimated points or overdid portions. I'm still not sure what to do there. I think I won't make any changes until I get under 200. That's why I haven't bought a new scale yet. I know my scale isn't as accurate as a digital. Since I had that problem with the one I had to return, I just figured I would wait until I was about 5 pounds the other side of 200 and then get a digital. That way I wouldn't even bother going back and adjusting all of my weights and goals, I'd just suck it up and deal with it looking like I had gained, or not lost 2-5 pounds. I figure my psyche can handle that as long as the number on the digital comes up under 200. Silly isn't it?

Oh well. I hope to get back to daily blogging soon, and posting my food journals. I'm still writing everything down, I just haven't had time to do it here.

Anyway, Only 3 pounds to go to make my 10% weight loss goal! I can't believe it. I remember when I posted that goal how much 24 pounds sounded like. Now here I am 3 pounds away from that. I am just over the moon I tell you. I'm hoping Dubai is easier for me to control what goes on my plate. I think the Rotana Towers has a 24 hour gym also, so I can work out. I would love to come back next Friday and see 216. That's ambitious, but I'm learning to think big these days.

More later....

Update...

2008-03-07T12:42:00.002-06:00

Sorry no posts recently. I've just been so busy at work.

I have not been blogging, but I have been on plan and journalling everything. I've been doing really well. We had one day where we went to a new bar near our house and I know I went over probably by 6 or 8 points, but that's why I don't really do flex. It allows me to do something like that every once in a while and still lose. I feel like it also makes up for anything I underestimate points on.

Anyway, drumroll.................

17 pounds lost so far! Woohoo

That's 17 pounds in 6.5 weeks. I'm really pleased with that.

I'm off to Norway tomorrow for a week. I am expecting good results from that. From what Elaine tells me, it is easy to get the kind of food that I want to be eating. Also it's very safe there and our hotel is right next to a lake with a path around it. Also you can walk all around the town. She wants to walk for a hour a day after work and I am up for that. Hopefull I'll come back from Norway 20 pounds lighter than I was on Jan 29th. I am so pumped for that.

Hubby is doing really great. He's lost 25 pounds at least and looks really great. We are planning all the things we will do this year that we didn't want to do before. I personally can't wait to wear a sexy halloween costume for the first time. Something short - maybe a cheerleader or a naughty nurse. :) I also am excited about buying a dress for the company Christmas party this year. I'm so glad I'm doing this. More later, bye!

Just a quick update..

2008-02-28T10:52:00.003-06:00

Weight: 227 - 13 pounds lost!

I was out of town attending a class last week. This week I'm running like crazy for some stuff for work. I haven't had time to sit down for lunch, much less to blog (or read blogs - which I have missed), so that's why you haven't heard from me.

Brief summary: I would NOT recommend the Marriott Troy for anyone trying to count points. It's a GREAT hotel for everything else - really nice gym and rooms - but the restaurant situation is a problem. The hotel restaurant is Don Shula's Steak House. Apparently it is famous for serving enormous portions at huge prices while making sure to not accidently get something healthy on your plate. They would not make me a plain chicken breast. The lady said that I could order the 16 ounce (yes 16!) chicken breast and I could get a veggie with that. The veggie first of all was creamed spinach, mashed potatoes, baked potato, or something else fatty can't remember. WTF was I going to do with a $35 one pound chicken breast? Anyway, I did the best I could. I didn't have a car there because it was icy and snowing, so I only got out when I went with someone else. I did work out 5 times in 5 days. Not too bad.

I wrote down all my food and kept my points the whole time, but I don't know how accurate they were. A lot of it was guessing. I'm not going to post any past menus because I don't feel like finding them all and typing them up. I will admit to going over point twice, but I really believe it was within the 35 point flex point range. I just have never used flex points, so I still felt guilty about it. Anyway, I came from that trip with no gain, no loss. All things considered, I'm happy with that. I've lost another 3 pounds since then and although I can't help but pine over the 1 or 2 pounds I could've lost that week in Detroit, I am pleased with a total loss of 13 pounds with relatively little effort on my part.

I don't know how much posting I will do this week. I will try. I just wanted to check in and report my current weight before I was too long gone.

I'm not even sure what week I'm on. I'll have to look at my postings to see. Hopefully I'll get back on track with the posting thing very soon.

Holding steady...

2008-02-15T06:45:00.002-06:00

Weight: 230

Yesterday was very busy, but I did really good. I am trying to increase the amount of fruits and veggies I eat, and also start cooking more of my own food now that I am adjusted to a healthier portion size. We bought some 8 inch plates which I highly recommend. The bigger the plate, the more food you tend to want to put on it.

Oh - some other good news. I got an email from Continental yesterday and I have been upgraded to First Class for my 2 1/2 hour flight to Detroit on Sunday. Woohoo! I did a HUGE amount of flying last year, so I got bumped up from Silver Elite to Gold. Since then I have been upgraded on all of my 3 flights this year. This will be the 4th time I've flown 1st class, but the other 3 times the flights were only 45 minutes. So this will be my first time where they actually serve food. I noticed that my original booking said 'SNACK' and now my new one says 'MEAL'. So I guess only the first class section gets actual food? Don't know. Anyway, my friend tells me that it is normally a choice of a salad with either grilled shrimp or chicken and maybe a soup. I hope that's what it is. That will be easy on the points. I'm even going to look into points for a few different alcoholic beverages since I will have the points and don't have to drive. Depending on what the food is, I can probably still swing 2 drinks of some sort. Silly, but I'm really excited.

Anyway, here is my food journal for yesterday...

Week 3, Day 3 Points allowed: 28

Breakfast:
1 - 2 WW toast
2 - 2 Kraft FF singles
4 - 2 scrambled eggs

Lunch:
6 - WW dinner
1 - small orange
1 - WW yogurt

Dinner:
4 - chicken strips
3 - small white corn tortillas
1 - 2T FF Ranch
0 - salad

Snacks:
2 - 15 tiny twist pretzels
4 - yogurt parfait (WW yogurt, 1/2 cup canteloupe, 12 lite vanilla wafers crumbs)

Total Points: 29 (I realized that I lost count b/c I forgot to write down my dressing last night)
Water: 64+oz
Activity: 45 minute brisk walk in park - very hilly

Note to self...

2008-02-14T07:06:00.003-06:00

Reminder:

Take my 32 oz cup with me to Detroit next week so I can sip water during class (hope I get lots of pee breaks!).
Take enough workout clothes for 6 days.
Take some low and mid point non-refrigerated foods to avoid situations where there are no good choices.
Remember Roni's mantra "Hunger is not an emergency." I won't die if I have to wait for a better choice.
Rember my mantra "There is NOTHING more satisfying than being in CONTROL."

I WILL STAY ON PLAN ON THIS TRIP!

Week 3, Day 2 Guess the 230 is gonna stick!

2008-02-14T06:54:00.002-06:00

Weight this morning: 230 again. Guess it's going to stick. If I have that a few more days, I will mark that off of my mini goal list.

Things still going well. Work has been really busy. Oh yeah, they brought in breakfast tacos yesterday and came and handed me one. Again, my first reaction was to decline (I'm on a diet right?). Then I thought about it. It was about 9:00 AM and I was a little hungry and I had a low point lunch and a lot of points to use up. So I looked it up and found it was 5 points. So I took it and enjoyed every bite. Later when there were still some in the bag in the kitchen, I had no urge to grab another one and scarf it down like I would have in the past. Eating the taco took the power away from the other ones. I think I'm getting this!

Here's my menu from yesterday:

Breakfast:
4 - 2 eggs scrambles
1 - 1 lite Laughing Cow cheese wedge
1 - 2 WW toast

Lunch:
5 - WW dinner
0 - green beans

Dinner:
6 - chicken strips
0 - salad
1 - 2 T ff Ranch
2 - low fat burrito tortilla

Snacks:
5 - small potato and egg taco
1 - WW yogurt
2 - 1 cup sugarfree/fat free ice cream

Total: 28 points
Water: 64 oz usually I go over by more - was really busy, but I'll do better today
Activity: 30+ minute brisk walk in park while it was getting really dark!

28 points is a lot of food

2008-02-13T06:43:00.005-06:00

Weight: 230 (Where was that yesterday during my 'official' weigh in!)

This morning I'm back down to 230. That's what was so frustrating about yesterday. I KNOW that I really weighed 230 yesterday, but I'm only logging my weight on Tuesday mornings. Oh well. As long as I start going down from there, who cares really?

Monday was my first day on the 28 points that I just found out I should be eating based on my current weight. I never would have thought that I would say 28 points is a lot of food, but I ate, I snacked, and I still ended up shoving down 2 Kashi oatmeal & chocolate cookies at 9PM just to make the 28 points. I was too full to try and eat 4 points worth of fruit. I'm going to have to plan better. I spend my points rather frugally - trying to get the most for the least, so having 28 it's hard to eat that much. It feels like all I'm doing is eating. I guess I need to start cooking my lunch and having a good sized chicken breast or something. Anyway, here's my journal for Monday.

Week 3, Day 1 Points Allowed: 28

Breakfast:
1 - 2 slices of WW bread
1 - lite Laughing Cow wedge
4 - 2 eggs scrambled in ff cooking spray

Lunch:
4 - Healthy Choice chicken w/roasted potatoes, veggies, AND cherry crisp
1 - salad with 2 T lite Ranch dressing

Dinner:
5 - chicken tenders cooked in ff cooking spray
3 - green beans with potatoes
2- low fat burrito tortilla
0 - lettuce

Snacks:
1 - WW yogurt
1 - banana
1 - WW snack cake
4 - 2 Kashi oatmeal & chocolate chip chewy cookies

Total points: 28
Water: 64+ oz
Activity: Brisk walk in park, about 30-40 minutes

See - isn't that just a ton of food? Fat girl in my head kept screaming at me that I shouldn't be eating all that because I'll gain. Funny how she used to always tell me to eat, eat, eat. Or not to bother because there's no way I could possibly hang in long enough to lose 100 pounds. Now I think I've got her running (waddling) scared because she's changed her tactics. Instead of trying to make me eat high point foods, she's trying to get me to cut my points down to about 20 to 'make sure I lose, and make it happen faster because we can't wait all year to lose this weight'. I guess she's resorting to that because WW takes all the power away from her old tactic by not making you deprive yourself. No food is taboo. First of all, there are healthier alternatives readily available if you want. But, if what you want is something from taco bell, cake, a hamburger, etc... that's perfectly ok. You just have to account for it. I'm sure there will come a day when I'm dying for taco bell. When that day comes, I'll go to the Taco Bell nutrition information and calculate the points for the things I want. As long as I stay at 28 points, I can have it. That's what makes this work so well for me. The power has been taken away from all of those things because they're no longer 'forbidden'.

Feeling more confident every day. Onward!

Week 2 Official Results

2008-02-12T15:53:00.000-06:00

Official Weigh In for Week 2 - 232 pounds

That's kind of a bummer because I've been fluctuating between 229 and 230 the last few days, but this morning when I'm doing my 'official' weigh in, it has to be 232. Bummer.

I'm not too upset. I don't like that it makes me look like I only lost a pound, because I'm pretty sure I lost 3, maybe 4. This is why I'm glad I weigh every day. If I didn't, I'd probably be really depressed thinking "what's the point?". Because I know that I have STRICTLY stuck to plan, and recorded every single bite of food, I KNOW that I did not gain 2 to 3 pounds yesterday.

I'm thinking it may be because I got home late and ate salty food for dinner at 9PM. Also, I drank a diet cherry RC this morning before weighing. Normally I weigh immediately after the morning tinkle. Maybe that's it. Oh well, it will just look better for next week. I know that I am losing weight.

Anyhoo, I decided not to do Wendie Plan for week 3. I'm going to be traveling for work from Sunday through next Friday, so I don't need any added hassle of trying to remember how many points I have. Also, it may be hard to find a variety of choices since I won't have a car. I may have to find one or two things that work and have them every day. Anyway, it just seems like it would be added things to worry about that I don't need.

Also, I discovered today that I have been eating too few points. Apparently I had a senior moment when calculating them before and came up with 25 per day when it should be 28. I will admit to struggling over whether or not to change my points because the fat girl voice in my head started all this babble about how I will gain weight if I do that, and while I'm at it, wouldn't I lose faster if I did something like 20 points? I told her to shut up and go away. Me and skinny girl don't need her 'advice' - it's what got us in this mess to begin with. Anyway, I redid my spreadsheet where I track my meals to show the new 28 points per day. So what if she was right and I gain weight? Well, I guess that's a risk I have to take. I refuse to look at this as a short term solution. This is a change in my life habits that I am trying to make. There's not a day when I will magically 'be finished'. This is a journey. I have every confidence that as long as I do what I have committed to do, everything will work itself out. Plus, I have read that eating too few points messes up your metabolism and sets you up to have to live off of really small amounts of food to not gain weight during maintenance. Who wants that? Not me! Better to get that sorted early on.

So I begin Week 3 with a really good feeling of good things to come. Plus, I'll take my one pound loss. That's one pound closer to goal, and 8 pounds lighter than I was and that's all good.

Onward!

Week 2, Day 7

2008-02-12T15:44:00.000-06:00

Weight 230, Points Allowance 25

Stayed up way too late on Sunday night, so Monday was kind of a blah day - plus it rained all afternoon. Hubby and I couldn't go walking because of the rain and lightning, so we went shopping instead. We did spend a couple of hours walking around so that's better than nothing I guess. Also, we found some new low point goodies to try and that's always good.

Breakfast:
3 - 1T peanut butter on 2 slices of WW bread
3 - WW yogurt with 1 cup of Kashi Go Lean cereal

Lunch:
5 - WW dinner
1 - Salad with 2 T lite Ranch
1 - WW yogurt

Dinner:
6 - can of reduced fat ravioli
3 - salad with 2 T Ranch

Snacks:1 - apple
2 - 1 cup sugar free/fat free ice cream

Total Points: 25
Water: 64+ oz
Activity: strolling while shopping

Last day of Wendie Plan.

Wendie O'Weekend

2008-02-11T12:29:00.000-06:00

Weight: 230

Today is the last day of my 2nd week, and the last day of my first week of Wendie Plan. It hasn't been hard to bounce back and forth with the points - except it's more trouble to remember how many you are supposed to have than if you do the regular plan of course. The low days didn't seem any harder than the higher ones. The hardest thing, strangely enough was to eat 36 points on Friday. I haven't decided if I'm doing Wendie for Week 3 or not, if I do, I will try to add more fruit that day to eat up some of the points. I don't mark my 'official' weight for the week until tomorrow morning, so I'm not sure how I did. I'm down 3 to 4 pounds I think because I've been bouncing between 230 and 229. I guess I'll make up my mind tonight or tomorrow morning about which plan to use for next week. Anyway, without further adieu... the weekend update...

Friday - Week 2, Day 4 36 whopping points allowed

Breakfast:
4 - 2 regular English muffins
4 - 2 eggs scrambled in cooking spray
3 - 1T butter (trying to make a dent in the points without adding volume)

Lunch: (proud of my lunch takeout choice!)
4 - 1 cup steamed white rice (funny - this was way too much rice, this must be working)
6 - 6 oz steamed chicken
0 - 1 cup broccoli

Dinner:
10 - 10 oz lean steak (starving for red meat after none for a week and a half)
0 - salad
1 - 2T lite Ranch dressing

Snacks:
2 - 15 tiny twists pretzels
1 - ww yogurt
1 - ww chocolate cake

Total: 36 filling points, 64+ oz water
Activity - 40 minute brisk walk in the park

Saturday, Week 2, Day 5 Only 20 points allowed

Breakfast:
2 - English muffin
1 - lite Laughing Cow wedge
1 - 1/2 cup Go Lean
1 - ww yogurt

Lunch:
5 - charro beans
0 - salad w/ff Italian

Dinner:
2 - English muffin
1 - lite Laughing Cow wedge
1 - banana

Snacks:
2 - Kashi snack bar
4 - Bud Lights

Total: 20 points, 64+ oz water
Activity - strolling convention center and horse auction

Saturday was a lot of fun. We went to a show at the convention center and walked around for a few hours. After that, we took a long drive in the country, did some shopping, and stopped in 2 different bars for a beer. After dinner and a rest, we went to a horse and tack auction which lasted until about midnight. That was cool - got to pet a lot of nice horses. We were up at 5am and in bed at 1:00am. Haven't done that for a whille. Exhausting, but enjoyable. Woke up weighing 230. 10lbs seems to be sticking!

Sunday, Week 2, Day 6 27 points allowed

Breakfast:
2 - English muffin
2 - 1T peanut butter
1 - banana

Lunch:
2 - lite hotdogs
1 - ww bread
1 - Kraft FF single

Dinner:
9 - Quiznos sandwich, roast beef, wheat bread, lettuce
1 - Beck's Light beer (64 cal! only 1 point!)
1 - apple

Snacks:
1 - ww yogurt
2 - 1 cup Kashi Go Lean
4 - oatmeal cookies

Total: 27 points, 64+ oz water
Activity - brisk walk in woods 45 minutes

Sunday was fun. Woke up weighing 229 (woo hoo!). Walked in the cool morning air. Went to Lake Jackson for the Ron Paul rally - we got our picture taken with him hugging us! Then drove on down to Surfside looking for a place to rent for vacation. Discovered Beck's Light beer is only 64 calories which makes it the only 1 point beer I know of. Tastes really good too. Not the least bit weak. Stayed up much too late last night watching 2 episodes of Eastenders. Busy weekend.

Big Wendie Day...

2008-02-08T15:50:00.001-06:00

Today is Day 4 of Week 2.
Weight: 232

Regarding the 232, this is why I think people should not freak out over a fluctuation. Yesterday was my 21 point Wendie day. That's 5 below my regular, and I walked for 40 minutes. So you KNOW I did not really gain 2 pounds. The day to day weighing I'm doing is to teach myself this so that I can make peace with the scale monster. I don't count any weight until Tuesday mornings.

Anyway I felt sooooo much better yesterday. It's amazing what you can accomplish when it doesn't feel like you have a meat cleaver stuck in your head and someone trying to pulverize your ovaries. :)

I was allowed 21 points. Here's my journal:

Breakfast:
3 - 2 Kashi multigrain waffles
1 - 1/4 cup sugarfree syrup
1 - 1 t. butter

Lunch:
5 - ww dinner
0 - salad
1 - Lite Italian

Dinner:
4 - fat free hotdogs (I know, but I was hungry and tired)
2 - bread
2 - Kraft FF singles

Snack:
1 - lite English muffin
1 - lite Laughing Cow wedge

Points: 22 (just realized today that I had left off my salad dressing from lunch - so I'm 1 pt over)
Total Water: 64oz+
Activity: 40 minute brisk walk in park with boys

So today was my high point Wendie day - 36 points! Wow that's been weird because it's still way less food than I might have eaten a month ago, but I'm so full. I'm going to have to figure out a better way to do this next week. I don't want to stretch my stomach out. I think I'm going to add several fruits to my menu next time to add up points without volume. I did venture out today to a Chinese restaurant. You would be so proud. I ordered steamed chicken with broccoli and white rice. I figured the chicken at roughly 6 oz. The broccoli was about a cup. I got it take out, so when I went to get the rice out I was trying to figure out how much was a cup - knowing the little container was probably more. So what I did was to get a 12oz coffee cup and put the rice in. It all fit, so it must have been 12 oz. So I dumped it back out and divided into 3 4oz piles and then threw one of them away. I should have only had one of the piles, because I'm now apparently used to eating only 1/2 cup of rice. I NEVER would have believed that a month ago. Anyway I really should have stopped eating before I was done because it really was too much food. Next time I'll know to eat only 4 oz of rice if I'm eating that much broccoli and chicken. Anyway, I'm on my way home now. Still got 11 points to eat tonight after walking. I probably won't post again until Monday morning. Still haven't told hubby about this site yet.

Have a great weekend - on plan!

NSV (non-scale victory) News

2008-02-07T09:14:00.000-06:00

NSV news:

1. I put on a shirt that I wore about 3 weeks ago yesterday. 3 weeks ago I can remember that I was uncomfortable all day because it was clinging to my fat - so I kept tugging at the shirt. Well, yesterday I put it over my head and it just fell onto me. I had a lot of room left in the shirt! Very exciting.

2. Walking out of the grocery store last night, I noticed that I felt light. Yes ME, LIGHT. I can remember, very recently, walking and feeling like I was carrying 2 50lb feed bags on my shoulders. In a way, I was because I have 100 pounds to lose. I still have 90 pounds to lose, but I FEEL lighter. When I was walking through the parking lot I actually had a ‘spring in my step’. Way cool.

3. The other morning when I was yawning and stretching after getting out of bed, I put my hands on my waist and that whole section of my body felt different. It felt like part of me was missing! Very strange sensation - but one I could get used to. I really need to do the measurement thing this week. I wish I had before I started.

Week 2 Day 2 - hungry!

2008-02-07T07:48:00.000-06:00

Thursday morning's weight - 230! (woohoo!)

Yesterday was day 2 of my first Wendie week - 26 points. That's 1 point more than I get on my regular ww week, and 5 points more than my 1st Wendie day.

I had a hard time with a lot of things yesterday. It felt like I had an axe stuck in my head and 2 hands squeezing my ovaries like lemons. Of course the world always knows when you have a day like that and so that's when you get all the crap thrown at you - stuff that you shouldn't have to deal with, rush problems, stupid people, etc... On top of that, I felt like I was STARVING most of the day yesterday. I normally eat a 6 point breakfast at about 6am and that holds me fine until 11:30 lunch. Sometimes I eat a 1 or 2 point snack before I leave work, but only if I'm hungry. Wednesday I had a 7 point breakfast at 6am and was hungry already by 9:30! I don't mean the old kind of hungry where I just wanted to eat, but the REAL kind of hungry where your stomach is growling and it feels that way all the way up into your throat. I was proud of the way that I handled it though. I have some tiny twists in my desk (with 15 = 2 points) written on the bag in big letters, lest I forget they're not a free for all. So I counted out 15 twists and ate them with 1 liter of water. Still hungry. No problem, hunger is not an emergency - wait and it should go away. 10:30 - stomach still growling for food. Normally this would be another panic point "oh no I'm starving and I shouldn't be - screw it let's just eat 'x' because I can't live like this" (I know, my inner voice is quite the little drama queen isn't it?) and the binge would begin. This time, I calmly looked at my journal and saw that I still had plenty of points, so I had a ww yogurt for 1 point. Guess what? Stomach monster finally tamed. All she needed was a little more food. Why? TOM? Wendie possibly? Who knows? Who cares? Give her the benefit of the doubt that for some reason she just needed it and move on. Oh my god, who is this person? It sure doesn't sound like me. It's so surreal.

Anyway the day went on to be a full 8 hour crapfest - I even shut the door to my office and cried for a few minutes. BUT I didn't eat - I just cried, dried my tears, and moved on. I did find that I was really hungry again by the end of the day, but it was close enough to the time I would be getting home that I just waited. It gets dark kind of early now, so we have to hurry to drive to the park in order to have enough time to walk. I threw on my walking clothes, rolled up 2 slices of low fat smoked turkey (1 point) and grabbed a bottle of water on my way out the door. The walk was really nice because it cooled off again after the toilet box drenching storm the night before. The boys were very frisky because of the nip in the air, so it was a really brisk walk. When I got back home, I really felt like I needed protein to make me feel better (TOM thing I guess) so I made about 6 oz of chicken breast tenders in the non-stick skillet with some cooking spray. I had a big romaine and tomato salad with 2 T of lite ranch, and two pieces of ww toast with a lite laughing cow wedge spread on them. It was a very satisfying meal. I finally felt full without being overfull. I was tired from the walk and the day, so after cleaning up I watched a little tv and fell asleep halfway through Cashmere Mafia. I'm so glad that I made it through this day and the day before On Plan. It shows me that I REALLY CAN DO THIS! I'm so excited!

Regarding this morning's 230, I am very excited. I'm waiting untl my next weight in on Tuesday morning to officially count it as having made my mini-goal. Not that I think it won't stick, I am just allowing my body to fluctuate naturally without me getting all wrapped up in it. My daily step on the scale is more to de-sensitise myself to it than it is to actually count what each day's weight is. I want to be used to that so that if I've been weighing 'x' for most of a week and then have a weigh in that is 'x+2' that I don't completely freak over it. If I'm used to my natual fluctuations, then I'll know if it really means anything. It's part of my gaining control.

Food journal for W2, D2 26 points allowed

Breakfast
2 - low fat burrito sized tortilla
4 - 2 eggs scrambled
1 - Kraft FF Single

Lunch
5 - ww dinner (Thai noodles - really yummy)
1 - salad with 2T lite Italian

Dinner
6 - chicken breast
1 - salad with 2T lite Ranch
1 - 2 pieces ww toast
1 - lite Laughing Cow wedge (thanks Roni for this tip)

Snacks
2 - 15 tiny twist pretzels
1 - ww yogurt
1 - 2 slices of lite smoked turkey

Total Points: 26 Total Water: 64oz+
Activity: 40 minute brisk walk in park with boys

Week 2 - Day 1 Update

2008-02-06T16:15:00.000-06:00

Week 2, Day 1 - First Day on Wendie - Points 21

Breakfast:
2 - lite English Muffins
4 - 2T peanut butter

Lunch:
4 - ww dinner
0 - salad
.5 - 1T lite Italian

Dinner:
6 - ww dinner
3.5 - ww yogurt with 1 1/4 cup kashi

64oz+ water, 21 points 40 minute brisk walk with boys at park

This was a trying day because everything that could go wrong did. Toilet sprang a leak, got trapped in storm of century with new toilet in cardboard box in back of truck, ended up going 8 hours between lunch and dinner with no food. Got weak. Got mean. Got teary. Finally got fed. Made it through. Nice thing is this is what would have derailed me before. Oh f*ck it ! I'll just eat 'x' because I'm tired, had a bad day, etc... Anyway I was very proud to have stuck on track.

Day 2 of Wendie is 26 points. Still 233 even in full out TOM. Not too bad. That's been going well too except I'm starving. I keep chanting Roni's mantra "hunger is NOT an emergency". That seems to help actually. This is the first day I've been hungry. I think it's TOM. Anyway, no problem. I just ate a couple of 1 and 2 point snacks and I've still got 10 points for dinner. This time I'll have a quick snack before walking.

Gotta run, will let you know how Wendie day 2 went tomorrow.

Week 2 - Hello Wendie Plan

2008-02-05T13:30:00.000-06:00

Week 2, Day 1 - Weight - 233

After much thinking and reading, I have decided to give the Wendie Plan a try for my 2nd week. Everything I have read makes me think it might be good to try this before I hit a slowdown or plateau. I had read a lot about this once before but it wasn't in relation to WW. I saw that a lot of trainers suggest caloric variance as a way to optimize weightloss. So, we will see how it goes.

So, what I did was to take the original Wendie Plan numbers and calculate the percentages she used to designate low, very low, high, etc... I then added up my week's points (25 x 7 = 175). I then calculated the same percentages for my points. Here's how it looks:

Tues 20
Wed 26
Thur 21
Fri 36
Sat 20
Sun 27
Mon 25

I considered moving them around to adjust what days get the high points, but then I thought better to leave it alone. I really did think long and hard about trying this because in the past, I have had really bad food issues - and now everything seems to be going so well. So, in my quest for honesty, I asked myself every question I could think of because I want to make sure I stay in control of my life. The little voice in the back of my head that thinks I will always fail has been pretty quiet since I started this, so I asked the questions I thought it would.

Regular WW did well for you in Week 1. What if this doesn't? Then I will go back to regular 25 points a day. This is a life change, not a crash diet. I won't die if I don't lose massive amounts of weight each week.

Ok, but what if after having high days, you can't go back to low days? I'm feeling way too in control to believe that will happen. I'm willing to take the chance and believe in myself.

Shouldn't you change that 36 point day to something more like 30? What if it makes you fat? It won't. It's the same number of points in one week - just allocated differently. It's going to be ok. I (finally) trust me.

It sounds funny, but those are the types of thoughts that have hobbled me all of my life. This time, I actually had to conjure them up just to ask these questions. That gave me an even greater feeling of power. Maybe I'm actually going to learn to shed all of that crap I've carried around in my head all of these years.

I was thinking that there is a metaphor for losing weight we've all heard 'peeling off the pounds' and that it is so close to one for getting to the truth ' peeling back the layers'. Hmmm. Pounds and layers. Maybe they're interchangable. Maybe my quest to peel back the layers will have an added benefit. Just maybe, for me anyway, the layers of fear, shame, and guilt that I have hidden under are equal to the 100 pounds I've hidden myself under. Hmmm. Sorry, I'm just trying to work this out. Trying to lose weight first and then hope I all of a sudden develop strength and self esteem as a result hasn't gotten me anywhere. Don't they say that if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got? How very true that has been for me.

I'm ready to get healthy on the inside AND out. I'm feeling better every day, so I think I may be on to something.

Breakfast:
2 - lite English Muffins
4 - 2T peanut butter

Lunch:
4 - ww dinner
0 - salad
.5 - 1T lite Italian

Points used so far - 10.5
Points remaining - 9.5

Week 1 Official Results...

2008-02-05T08:26:00.000-06:00

Woohoo! Week 1 weight loss total is 7 pounds! And that's with TOM kicking into high gear today. I am very pleased with those results.

Last night hubby and I took the boys for a walk in the park. It was about 40 minutes at an extremely brisk pace - the boys see to that. It's walk fast or be drug around the park by a leash. Two 70+ pound dogs that are highly excited are a safe bet that you will never stroll anywhere again.

After that we had caldo soup that he made. Delicious and healthy.

I am over half way to my 1st mini-goal of 10 pounds. Hopefully I will hit that by next Tuesday morning.

Scale tales...

2008-02-04T15:30:00.000-06:00

I've been using the regular old (crummy) scales I already have to weigh in. I would have been surprised if they were completely accurate. I knew that going in that my weight is probably anywhere from 2 to 4 pounds more than what it says on this blog. That is ok. My plan was to buy some new digital scales so that I could record the numbers in between, and hoping it would be more accurate.

Sunday at Sam's, I bought this really cool clear digital scale. When I got home, I set it next to the old one. I set 2 15 pound weights on the old one, adjusted the thingy until it said 30 pounds - only about 2 off - not too bad. I then set the weights on the new one - 30 pounds right? How about 28.4! Holy sh*t I was pissed off. The new one has no way to adjust. You just get what you get. After cussing about spending $25 on a piece of %$&* scale, I decided that it might get confusing, but I would just write everything down and try to keep it straight - adding the 1.6 pound each time. Fine. Not fine. This morning, the bleeping thing gave me 5 completely different weights within about 1 minute's time.

After I calmed down, I packed it back into its box along with it's little book of silly weight loss tips, and took it off to work with me. Today at lunch, I returned that worthless piece of junk. So I went back to my old scale, with the old inaccuracy. I'm not going to worry about it (that's a really big deal for me), I am going to continue to weigh on it until I get a good scale. I will then make the necessary adjustments to my stats and move on from there. I can't believe that. In the old days I would have been really depressed about the possibility (more like probability) of having to adjust my weights up. Maybe I really am making the right kinds of changes in my life. Maybe this really is for real. Maybe that's why I feel so confident that I will be successful this time. Maybe I'm finally growing up instead of out.

For now, I'm 232. That's 2 pounds away from my mini-goal of 10 pounds. Woohoo!

Day 7 - Week 1 comes to an end

2008-02-04T15:18:00.000-06:00

Starting weight: 232 (8 pounds down)

Points allowed: 25

Breakfast:
2 - 2 lite english muffins
4 - 2 T peanut butter

Lunch:
6 - WW dinner
0 - salad
1 - 2 T. Lite Italian dressing
1 - apple

Snack
1 - WW yogurt

Dinner:
10 - large bowl of hubby's soup (2 tiny corn ears, 2 pingpong ball sized potatoes, 4 oz lean steak, carrots, onions).

Points consumed - 25 Water - 64oz +

I am so excited to end this week down 8 pounds. Today starts TOM, so no telling what my numbers will look like in Week 2. I started to not weigh daily during TOM, but then stopped and thought about it. Why? Because I don't want to report any gains or 0 losses. That's really stupid. Why miss out on an opportunity to really learn something about my body and how it reacts to all of life's situations? I refuse to hide. This blog is as much about being honest with myself by baring my soul to whomever might read it as it is about losing weight. I'm pretty sure the 2 are intertwined anyway. I will hide nothing. I will report my numbers. I will come to understand how my body reacts to the my actions, and those out of my control.

Wow, sorry that sounds so dramatic but this all is really a big step for me. I'm trying to grow up instead of out for a change. :)

Will update the food journal tomorrow to reflect tonight's food. I'm supposed to get out of here in about 30 minutes to go walk in woods with husband and boys. He's making low point soup, which sounds really good. I've got 10 points left so I'll even be able to have a snack before walking if I need to.

Later

Day 6 - Oh my!

2008-02-04T15:01:00.000-06:00

Starting weight: 231 (yes, 231!)

Points allowed: 25

Breakfast:
2 - 1 egg fried without oil in non-stick skillet
2 - 2 toast
3 - 1 T. butter

Lunch:
2 - lite bread toast
1 - Kraft FF single
2 - FF hotdogs
0 - small amount of ketchup (yes, I'm weird I know)

Dinner
7 - WW dinner
0 - salad
3 - 2 T Ranch dressing

Snacks
1 - WW yogurt
1 - orange
1 - lite english muffin
1 - lite Laughing Cow wedge

Points consumed - 25 Water - 64oz +

First of all - Did you see? I woke up Sunday to 10 pounds gone. Very, very exciting even though I didn't expect it all to stick through the whole week. TOM starts Monday and I am sure this will affect my weight. Nice to see none-the-less.

Sunday was spent going to 3 different stores to buy supplies. We are now fully stocked for eating on plan for the next couple of weeks. We have a variety of 1 and 2 point foods so as not to run out of low point choices. I took Roni's advice and got the 1 point Thomas lite muffins and lite Laughing Cow wedges. OMG, that makes the most satisfying 2 point snack! I got a little freaked out at HEB (that's a local grocery store in Texas) when they didn't have our number 1 staple - WW Yogurt! Well, they did, but they only had it in 4 oz cups that were still 1 point. I am still worried that this is a change to the product since I had never seen it before and they didn't have any of the 8 oz 1 points. Why on earth would anyone want to start eating half of the yogurt for the same point 'price'? We must all unite to complain if that turns out to be the case. So, I had to go to Kroger and buy most of the yogurt they had on the shelf. I need at least 1 a day to make sure I get something that tastes like a dessert for 1 point. Also, I don't drink milk or eat cereal very often, so I need it for my milk values.

Very, very tired from all that shopping, but excited to be ready to stay on plan.

Day 5 Saturday - Still on plan...

2008-02-04T14:46:00.001-06:00

Starting weight: 235 (not even freaked out by this - fluctuations are normal)

Points allowed: 25

Breakfast:
4 - 2 eggs fried without oil in non-stick skillet
1 - 2 lite bread toast
1 - 1t. butter

Lunch:
5 - WW dinner
0 - salad
3 - 2 T. Ranch dressing

Dinner:
6 - WW dinner
0 - salad with FF Italian
1 - WW yogurt

Points consumed - 21 Water - 64oz +
I had every intention of eating something else, but I fell asleep.

Activity - finally some to report! 45 minute brisk walk in woods with hubby and the boys

I am pleased to report that Saturday came and went with no hysterical urges to go off plan. I am still feeling relaxed and am very happy with how easy this still seems to be.

Day 4 - Friday - It's all good

2008-02-04T14:34:00.000-06:00

Starting weight: 234 :)
Points allowed: 25

Breakfast:
6 - large bagel
1 - 1.5 t. peanut butter

Lunch:
6 - WW dinner
0 - salad, no dressing
1 - WW yogurt

Dinner:
6 - WW dinner
0 - salad with FF Italian
1 - WW yogurt

Snack:
1.5 - lite bread
1 - t. butter
1 - small apple

Points consumed - 24.5 Water - 64oz +

Pat on the back for me...

I rode with Ashlynn to Sam's at lunch. I bought bags of salad and some grape tomatoes. After that, she wanted to stop in Quiznos for some Sammies. I had never been in Quiznos before, but wanted to see what it was like, so I went in with her. I enjoyed the smell of the food and got to see what everything looks like, but I didn't get anything. Now, I know that I can eat Quiznos on WW - just have to look up points. I'm not proud of myself for not eating a particular food item, just for the fact that I stuck to what I had planned to eat - which was the food I had back at the office. If I had decided before we went to look up the points for a Sammie (which I'm fully intending on doing), and then decided to have that instead of the lunch I packed, that would also be ok. Because of my past history, I'm trying to train myself to remain calm, make choices, and follow those choices. If a choice is to go to an ice cream parlor or Taco Bell, or whatever - that's fine. The important thing to me is to be in control of my own life - for the first time in my life. The way I figure it, once I get that mastered, the rest is easy. :)

Day 3 - Woohoo!

2008-02-01T06:56:00.000-06:00

Starting weight: 234 (possibly even 233.5 - I need to buy a digital scale)

Points allowed: 25

Breakfast:
6 pt - 1 large bagel
1 pt - 1/2 T. peanut butter

Lunch:
6 pt - grilled chicken breast
3 pt - 12 tortilla chips & salsa
0 pt - grilled veggies
0 pt - salad with FF Italian dressing

Dinner
8 pt - WW frozen dinner
0 pt - salad with FF Italian dressing
1 pt - WW yogurt

Points consumed - 25 Water - 64oz +

I was getting ready to eat my 1 point apple last night, and a thought struck me that I had made a mistake in my math. I got my journal out and sure enough, I had somehow gotten off by 1 point. I was so glad, because I didn't want to eat that apple anyway and if I do go over by a point I want it to be a choice, not an accident.

I feel fantastic. I'm only hungry right before meals, which is how it should be. So far this is working really well for me. I'm finding it very easy to adapt to my life.

Woohoo, on to the weekend!

Another great day!

2008-01-31T14:46:00.000-06:00

Weighing in at: 235 (holding on at 5 lbs down!)

I'm going grocery shopping tonight, so I'm not sure what I'm having tonight What I am sure of is that it will be 10 points. I'll post the details tomorrow.

I just couldn't wait to post my accomplishment today. I had it all planned that I would have a WW frozen dinner and salad for lunch after running to Sam's Club. Just before lunch, Ashlynn invited me to go eat Mexican food. <gulp> My first instinct was to decline and say I couldn't. Then I remembered that I can have anything I want. All I have to do is calculate points and decide how I want to spend them. So I said I would go, and then got my book out. It only took me a couple of minutes to decide what I was going to have and how many points. I was a little nervous, but excited to try it out. Here's what I had allowed for:

6 pts - 6oz chicken breast - grilled with no sauce or cheese
0 pts - grilled veggies
0 pts - dinner salad
0 pts - fat free Italian dressing
3 pts - 12 tortilla chips
0 pts - salsa (enough to dip 12 chips in)
0 pts - water

Total of 9 points

I am so excited because that is EXACTLY what I had! Right down to the 12 chips! I non-chalantly counted them out and put them on the little plate they gave me. When I finished my 12 chips, that was it. No more! I did make them last a long time by breaking them into tiny pieces to dip - what I've always done anyway. I wasn't even finished with them all when the food came.

Ready for the other exciting part? They don't have a plain grilled chicken breast on the menu, so I had ordered the monterrey chicken with no sauce thinking it would come plain. When they brought it out, it was covered in a layer of melted monterrey jack cheese. It's so stupid, because for a minute I felt a little panicky. What was I going to do? I mean the cheese was there, so shouldn't I just eat it because they made the mistake. It was like a sign or something right? (now you see how I got into this mess in the first place) Anyway, I couldn't decide what to do, so I started on my salad and veggies - sneaking a look at the cheese every now and then. Then I started thinking about this blog. I kept thinking how I would have to calculate more points for the cheese - which would cut into the remaining 10 for my dinner - and then I would have to report it on this blog. I realize that the beauty of WW is that I could have eaten the cheese if I wanted to and as long as I counted the points, I would still lose weight. That's not what it was really about though. I want to be in control of what I do. I want to make conscious decisions, not be a victim to the same old impulses that got me here. That's my mark of success in this journey.

Anyway, I'm off for a quickie trip to the grocery store. Hubby is getting into this and is starting to talk about points (he only has a small amount to lose - lucky devil) and how much of what he can get for how many. So I am buying a few supplies to tide us over until the shopping trip this weekend.

I think this blog was the best thing I could have done. It really does make me think about what I'm doing. Now my friend Elaine is creating one too. I'm excited!

More tomorrow...

Day 2 - Yippee!

2008-01-30T15:30:00.000-06:00

Starting weight: 235 (down 5 lbs!) Points allowed: 25

Breakfast:
6 pt - 1 large bagel
1 pt - 1/2 T. peanut butter

Lunch:
5 pt - WW frozen dinner
0 pt - romaine lettuce
1.5 pt - 1 T. Ranch
1 pt- WW yogurt

Snack:
2.5 pt - 18 tiny twist pretzels

Dinner:
8 pt - 2 cups of hubby's tasty beans

Total Points consumed - 25 Water consumed - 64oz +

I was so excited to find 5 nasty pounds gone this morning. My goal for the next 5 days is to make sure that it sticks.

I am so proud of myself (pats self on back) for making a menu plan and sticking to it. I even went over my 8 glasses of water. I feel fantastic. My energy is much higher and I swear I even feel lighter.

One thing that seems to be helping is that I am sticking to water with meals. I think that sweet tasting beverages make me eat more, and I don't enjoy the taste of the food as much. So, I gotta have my diet RC, or my big iced tea (with sweet 'n low) at least once a day, but I'm using them for a treat instead of to accompany my meals. I didn't even realize until this morning that I only had one diet RC. That has to be better for me.

The other thing that is helping is this blog. I have that type of personality that has to have a perfect journal. In the past, since I couldn't stay on track, I just lied to myself in my journal. Makes a heck of a lot of sense doesn't it? Anyway, one of the purposes of this blog is to keep me honest. I don't like to lie to other people. I've already told you my real weight, not my driver's license weight, and posted my actual fat picture. There's nowhere to hide now. Yesterday I posted my Day 1 entry before I left work, so I actually had not made it past lunch yet - although I had already drank all of my required water. I really think that helped keep me from straying. So I'm going to keep up that practice for a few days. Maybe Monday I'll start reporting only on the previous day. We'll see.

Anyway, I feel great. I am positive I can do this. I am so psyched!

See you tomorrow.

My icky 'Before' pic - 240 pounds

2008-01-29T14:03:00.000-06:00

Day 1 - The awful truth

2008-01-29T13:33:00.000-06:00

Starting weight: 240 (yikes!) Points allowed: 25

Breakfast:

6 pt - 1 large bagel

1 pt - 1 t. butter

Lunch:

5 pt - WW frozen dinner

0 pt - romaine lettuce

1.5 pt - 1 T. Ranch

1 pt- WW yogurt

Dinner:

4 pt - WW frozen dinner

0 pt - romaine lettuce

3 pt - 2 T. Ranch

1 pt - WW yogurt

Snack:

2.5 pt - 2 Hershey nuggets

Total Points consumed - 25
Water consumed - 64oz +

A journey of a 1000 miles

2008-01-29T13:03:00.000-06:00

They say a journey of a 1000 miles begins with a single step. It stands to reason then that a journey to lose weight begins with a single bite.

As a guy in a bar recently pointed out to me, I am large. Too large by quite a bit. (He also had issues with my eyebrows, but that's a blog for another day.) I'm not quite sure why he felt the need to tell me this - did he really think I hadn't noticed? "Oh my God! What happened? I was a size 4 when I left the house this morning!" That would be obvious if it were true because size 4 clothes on my present-sized body would make me look as if the Incredible Hulk and I shared the same stylist. After having passed through the stages of humiliation, rage, resignation, and depression, I find myself now at a stage I'm calling 'reality'.

My reality is that I AM FAT. I am too fat and I don't like anything at all about how that makes me feel - physically or mentally. This is my reality, but it doesn't have to always be. I can change that. I have decided that I am ready to take the steps necessary to change my present reality into one that I can feel good about.

I have not always been fat. There were times in my life where I was very happy with how I looked and felt. Like most people, I have had some very difficult times in my life. During what I like to refer to as 'my mini nervous breakdown' two years ago, I put on weight. A lot of it. I survived that time, but I still carry the pounds like battle scars. I am finally ready to shed them.

For this journey, I have decided to use Weight Watchers because it promotes a healthy lifestyle that will get me back in the habit of controlling my portions and making better decisions. I like the fact that instead of outlawing certain foods and drink, it teaches you how to include those things in moderation. I have also decided to use this blog to journal my food, my feelings and my progress. My goal is to be 100% honest here - to never lie in order to have a 'perfect' journal.

So today I take the first step in my journey. One day at a time. One step at a time. Here we go, left foot...